Under My Skin
by RaventhePortal
Summary: Raven loves Beastboy but now that Terra's back he's forbiddened. Now she has to deal with a heart that's literaly, breaking. Her fear of losing his frienship drives her close to the end. But will Beastboy realize her love for him before it's too late?
1. Midnight Walk and Reunions

A/N: Takes place after the end of the world arc. Past the Brotherhood of Evil and everything else. They are older here.

Raven- 18 – description- Raven is about 5' 8 with long violet hair that reaches her mid back, her pale skin clear, she's developed into a young woman, Her face still the same delicate features, her violet eyes still amazingly beautiful. She has the same uniform; she is a dark beauty (like always said)

Beastboy- 18 – description- Beastboy is 5'11 still has the same green short hair. He's developed a muscular body but not a lot, perfect you can say. His face slightly matured but he still has that kid smile and emerald eyes full of life. Same uniform and green skin; voice a little deeper.

Terra- 17- description- Terra is 5'7 her hair still the same blond color hair same length. She is a young woman. Blue eyes, same clothes She is still the same only a bit taller. With the same giggle she has to light up the room. Now she is a very close friend to the Titans.

Starfire- 19 – description- Starfire is 5'11 with long red hair reaching her waist. She let her bangs grow enough to frame her face. She too had developed into a young woman and is still the same cheery friend. Her green eyes still held with curiosity. She is a beautiful girl with her same purple uniform that has captured the attention of a good-looking teammate.

Robin- 20 – description- Robin is 6 ft. he has grown taller then Starfire but still not as tall as Cyborg. His hair is still the same-gelled do. He has not yet changed to Nightwing. He to has gotten more muscular but not a lot. His mask still in place but his face has matured. In short, Robin is a very good-looking young man that has captured the interest of a beautiful alien friend.

Cyborg- 22 – Cyborg 6' 4. Being the tallest member of the team and also the most brotherly kind of friend. His face had matured his robot parts still a bright blue and full of life. A very happy man who with his simple presence could make you feel secure. He also finds love with a very pretty girl with a spunky attitude. Can you guess who it is?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance**

**Chapter 1. Midnight Walk and Reunions**

Raven walked down the dark streets of Jump City. It was midnight and only the moonlight illuminated her sight. The wind was rustling the leaves that had fallen from the trees. She had been out for hours…alone…no one seemed to notice that she had left the Tower. It wasn't new to her now that she came back, they had found an antidote to free her from her stone prison but now… everyone was around Terra, spent more time with her, especially Beastboy he is going out her and it pained her to see him with another girl.

She began to drift away from them their friendship was close to breaking she barely had contact with them, barely spoke…thus Raven became invisible to them. They no longer saw her, heard her, felt her presence; they forgot her. She was alone she couldn't take all this pain she needed to get out of there. She did everyday she would leave the Tower and take her long walks. And today was no different.

She continued to walk trying to keep her emotions in check she knew being in there would cause her pain because Terra was there and Terra was with Beastboy. Her mind was an emotional wreck and the only way to calm down was to leave. Lifting her head she saw the Tower the lights were turned off everyone was sleeping. She could go in unnoticed again she wouldn't be discovered, she knew it was against the rules to leave the Tower at night those where Robin's rules. Deciding this was a good time to go back she took flight to the Tower.

Raven stood in front of the door. Cautiously she turned the knob not wanting to make a sound. Stepping in the darkness that flooded the living room she turned back and closed the door slowly. After it lock in place she began to make her way to her room, when suddenly she heard the door that connected to the hallway open. Quickly she pressed up against a wall letting the shadows cover her body from being seen.

The figure stood at the door, yawning it began to walk forward to the kitchen. Raven watched from where she hid, the figure was approaching her. She cursed herself for choosing to hide near the refrigerator. The figure was close, Raven was breathing slowly. The person stopped in its tracks and turned around as if it had heard something. Returning back to what the person was doing, it opened the refrigerator the light from inside poured out reveling the figure's face.

"Beastboy…" Raven thought. There he was his green face, his emerald eyes, his lean body, his height a few inches taller then her and his short green hair. She stared memorized but she had a sad expression she knew she couldn't have him…he was with someone else…he loved Terra not her she had to stop thinking about him! It was not right; no one in his or her right mind would ever love a half demon.

He seemed to be tired as he reached into the fridge taking anything out. Luckily he got out the Soy Milk. Closing the fridge door he took the cartoon and drank from it. Raven saw the milk trickle down his cheeks when he drank she continued to stare as he wiped the liquid off his cheeks and threw the cartoon in the trash.

Beastboy felt he was being watched, he could feel a presence somehow…light breathing… His ears began to twitch trying to pick up any sound. Raven noticed and quickly stopped breath. She knew if she were caught she would be in trouble. She thought of using her Raven form to teleport out but Beastboy would see it. Her only option was to wait…to wait in this darkness.

Beastboy stepped closer to her staring straight at her, looking into her violet eyes. He reached an arm out in the darkness as if trying to reach something. He didn't feel anything. Having a confused expression he turned back and left the living room.

Raven let out a sigh of relief. That was close, real close. Slowly she stepped out of the shadows, looking around making sure no one was there, she began towards her room. Standing in front of the door it opened but there appeared Beastboy as if he had been waiting.

He raised an eyebrow curious to why Raven was up at this time. He hadn't seen her a lot these past weeks she always seemed to disappear from the Tower or she would stay locked in her room for hours... He was beginning to get worried, his once closest friend now seemed far away like she was invisible…

Raven was shocked and speechless. She had been caught! She stepped back trying to get away from the person that most pained her… only he came closer a look of worry crossed his features, his eyes full of concern.

"Raven?…why are you out here?" Beastboy asked softly looking straight into her eyes. Raven looked at the floor should she confess or lie. If she confessed she would get a lecture from Robin about breaking the rules and possibly be asked questions to why she left and were. Having no other choice she did what she had to do.

"I…I…was…sleeping on the couch…and I was going back…to my room," Raven lied trying to make up an answer as quickly as she could. But Beastboy could see right through her lie he knew she was out there the whole time. How did he know? Well after getting his Soy Milk when he heard breathing, he had approached the sound, when he came close a scent filled his nose a lavender scent…He knew it was Raven.

"Don't lie to me," Beastboy said. Raven turned her gaze to the floor then back up at his emerald eyes.

"I'm not lying. Now please can you get out of my way, I need to get to my room," Raven said sternly trying not to let any emotion out. But Beastboy didn't budge.

"Were have you been going all these nights? Its like you don't exist anymore I never see you," he asked her. Beastboy knew she left every night, because the scent of lavender would be absent.

Raven's face remained emotionless as she responded.

"That is none of your business," she responded coldly. Beastboy shook his head.

"No, It is my business. Raven, you're my friend. I'm just worried something bad could happen to you," he answered softly with concern, his eyes soften as he said these truthful words. Raven noticed his emerald eyes and she was captivated by them, Coming back to reality she turned her back to him forbidding her from seeing such beautiful eyes, if she continued to see, her heart would pour out her feelings…

"You have Terra…what do you care…" she whispered barely audible as she crossed her arms in front of her chest her back still faced him. Her expression was filled with sorrow a frown adorned her pale face. Her violet eyes sparkled with tears she tried to hold back.

Beastboy was shocked; he heard her answer and began to feel confusion as he processed her words "You have Terra…what do you care…" he didn't know what she meant. Was he truly this blind?

"What do you mean?" Beastboy asked as he stared at the back of her cloak.

Raven noticed her mistake a look of fear covered her features thinking of something quickly she responded.

"…Nothing it meant nothing…now, please move so I can go to my room," Raven answered with a slight quiver in her voice. Beastboy eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Letting out a sigh he stepped out of her way letting her pass. Raven walked past him, a breeze of lavender filled his nose, she stopped abruptly.

"Don't tell Robin…please," she said as she stood still. She turned her head and looked at him with pleading eyes he saw how she wanted to keep this a secret…

"I wont tell—" Beastboy began. Raven sighed in relief.

"If…you tell me where you were and what you were doing," Beastboy said, she had to answer and he would finally know were the dark girl went every night.

Raven's face turned to shock she couldn't believe him. He was blackmailing her! Her eyebrows narrowed in frustration.

"How dare you! Blackmailing me to force me to tell you!" Raven shouted at him. Beastboy noticed this displeased her and began to feel guilty.

"I…I'm sorry I just really, really want to know!" he responded back feeling guilty but he had a reason to do what he did. What was she hiding?

"That doesn't give you any right!" she yelled in his face.

"Well what are you hiding? How do I know if it's bad or good? How am I supposed to know if anything happened to you," Beastboy, questioned as his voice got higher close to a yell. He to was beginning to get angry.

"If I don't want to tell you I don't have to! And I am not hiding anything!" Raven shouted back. Beastboy sighed loudly.

"Raven! You are hiding something I just know it! Tell me were you go and why? Please, I promise I won't tell anyone else!" he shouted back as he pleaded with concern filling his emerald eyes.

Raven stepped back at the sight of his eyes averting her gaze to the floor she turned around so he wouldn't see her face. She couldn't tell him the reason she left the Tower at night was because she couldn't stand the pain of knowing Terra was with him. If she told him it could possibly wreck their friendship and maybe make Terra hate her if it was possible, more.

Beastboy was getting tired of her always turning away and not facing him. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. When he did he saw something that made his heart ache.

Raven was crying, her tears, crystal clear as they made their way down her pale cheeks. Her violet hair framing her face from the turn that Beastboy did to her, her expression was of pain and sorrow, she gasped when Beastboy saw her tears. She placed her hands to his chest and pushed him away from her, breaking the grip of his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him seeing his face filled with sadness and concern.

Taking her fingers, she used them to wipe all her tears away and push back her hair. She looked up at him.

"Don't touch me…" she replied trying to sound as cold as she could but Beastboy could see right through her act.

"Raven why are you crying? What's wrong?" He questioned the dark beauty that only stared back.

"Nothing is wrong and I was not crying," she responded hoping this would stop his questions.

"No, something is wrong, please tell me, you can trust me Raven, remember I'm your friend" He told her as he stepped closer. His words made her heart tare apart that was the problem he was only her…friend…nothing more…

"That's just it…" she whispered. Before Beastboy had time to ask what she meant someone had appeared next to them coming from the Hallway.

"Guys! Your yelling woke me up, and what are you doing out here anyway?" Robin asked as he rubbed his eyes trying to take the sleepiness away. Raven turned to him biting her lip she hoped Beastboy wouldn't tell.

"I—" Raven began but Beastboy interrupted.

"Sorry Robin, we were just getting something to eat but I kept telling my jokes I guess Raven got mad, right?" he explained to Robin then asked Raven who looked at him in astonishment that he could make up a lie so quickly.

Robin looked at Raven with an eyebrow raised waiting for the answer.

"Yes…" she answered softly.

"Well you guys really should stop fighting, you are friends, remember?" Robin asked both who nodded slowly but Raven held a pained face at the word friends.

"Alright then go back to bed and no more midnight reunions ok?" Robin declared. Again they nodded. Raven looked at Beastboy telling him thanks. He got the message and only nodded. Turning around Raven walked down the hallway to her room.

"You guys need to stop with the arguments, I think you made Raven sad…and that's a huge coming form her. I want you to apologize tomorrow," Robin ordered. Beastboy looked at him for a moment.

"I will," Beastboy, said, he left the living room leaving a satisfied Robin with his work.

Robin sighed as he headed to his room to.

"That's just it…" Raven's words kept replaying in his head; her face filled with tears crossed his mind every time it hurt him when he saw how sad and vulnerable she looked. Raven never showed emotion but if she cried it must of been something bad. He would find out somehow…

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	2. Ordinary Morning

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance**

**Chapter 2. Ordinary Morning**

Raven stirred in her sleep, blinking her eyelids she could see clearly…she was in her room, surrounded by darkness. She had a mirror with a dresser underneath wear she kept her clothes, a chest, a bookshelf, statues of a Raven, two masks, one of sadness and one with happiness and her most prized possession her meditation mirror. Her sheets were a dark blue color as were her pillows too.

Taking in her surrounds she began to rise out of her bed. She had been replaying her conversation with Beastboy over and over in her head…had she really told him that…did he realize it? Or was still to blind to see the truth behind her words?…she hoped he wouldn't figure it out in fear that their friendship would end. She had so many problems for a young woman it was a mystery how she was still living.

Taking out a new uniform she made her way to the bathroom, to a take a hot, relaxing shower. Stepping out of her room she saw blonde hair. "Terra…" her mind thought. Taking a deep breath she proceeded walking to the bathroom hoping Terra wouldn't stop her…Guess hoping wasn't enough.

"Raven…" Terra began with a mischievous smile playing on her lips. Raven stopped and turned around to see the blonde in her pajamas that consisted of a light blue tank top with blue plaid flannel pants. Raven couldn't possibly think of anyone more girlish then her… except for Starfire...

Terra looked at Raven and saw what she was wearing; she wore a silk purple nightgown that reached just above her knees. It had thin straps that hung on her shoulders, but Raven had a silk purple robe on top that was tied at her waist, her violet hair cascading down her back. Though no one knew Terra envied Raven because of her beauty.

"Terra…" Raven replied in monotone.

"It's 10:00 am. Isn't that a little late for you?" Terra asked with a curious look.

"I guess…" The violet haired girl answered suspicious to were she was going at.

"You've been getting up late these past weeks," Terra continued as she leaned against the wall. Raven stood still she knew what Terra was going to ask.

"I'm busy right now…we can talk about this later." Raven stated as she turned back around beginning to take a step when Terra grabbed her arm. Raven glared at her.

"Hold on, where have you been going all these nights?" She asked as she gave Raven a dirty look. If looks could kill Raven would have been did weeks ago.

"That is of no importance to you…now let go, I need to take my shower," Raven replied plainly as she yanked her arm away from Terra's grasp.

Terra crossed her arms across her chest looking at Raven hatefully.

"I'll find out, what ever your hiding, it will come out in the open and you will be exposed as the evil witch that you are," Terra said with a grin. Raven eyebrows narrowed. She wished she could curse her off so badly! But she had to keep her emotions in line. Terra knew Raven couldn't do anything and that was partly the reason she kept picking on her. The other Titans were clueless of this personal war the two girls had. They thought they were getting along fine, well they thought wrong.

"You shouldn't talk about yourself like that," Raven replied calmly as she started to the shower. Terra looked shocked. She fumed with anger inside and felt like exploding right there but she had to hold it in, for fear that the Teen Titans would throw her out of the Tower for attacking a team member. She was already doubted after the whole Slade incident which was years ago.l

"Whatever, I'll just hang out with _my_ friends, you go do your... mediating stuff and leave us alone. Thank you Raven," finishing her sentence she smiled and left the hallway towards the living room.

Raven frowned; Terra was close to her friends…if she can call them her friends anymore they were so distant now just a hello or goodbye was heard. Sighing she went into the shower.  
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Clasping the last article of clothing, which was her blue cloak, she was out and heading to her room. Inside she took her perfume spray, putting some on she smelled of lavender. She took her brush and sat in front of her mirror combing her hair slowly. Looking into the mirror she saw herself, a hurt girl, violet eyes filled with pain and sorrow. Though no one could tell by her emotionless face. But deep inside she was broken up and no one knew. Her emotions were to be kept under her skin, her deepest feelings only to be kept inside. Sighing she placed the brush on the dresser.

Raven took a book from her shelf and proceeded to the kitchen to make herbal tea then read in the living room.

The door opened and there were the Teen Titans all eating breakfast at the table. Cyborg eating a plate of bacon and toast with milk. Robin had scrambled eggs with a slice of ham and a cup of apple juice. Starfire was eating some strange alien food with a cup filled to the top with bright yellow mustard. Beastboy of course had tofu waffles with Soymilk. He was unusually quite…Terra was eating panckes with fruit in whipped cream on top of them and occasionally trying to get Beastboy to eat some but he refused. Terra was getting frustrated he was paying no attention to her at all.

Starfire was chatting with Robin or flirting smiling to every word he said. Cyborg was listening to his CD player to a rapper called 50 cent. Beastboy seemed in deep thought and Terra had finally given up and ate her breakfast in silence.

Raven walked into the kitchen setting a pot of water to boil. Beastboy looked up and greeted her.

"Hey Rea," he said. Ignoring the nickname he called her she only responded politely.

"Good morning…" she responded with her back to him hoping that he hadn't figured out yet.

'Hey's and Good mornings' Were said from the other Titans, but they didn't say them as happily as they did weeks ago, no…they said it with no emotion at all. Raven sighed and greeted them with a simple nod.

Robin looked at Beastboy reminding him of something to do.

"Raven…" Beastboy began. Raven stood still for a moment dreading what was to come.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Beastboy finished. Raven let out a sigh of relief, glad it wasn't something else.

"Its…okay" the dark girl answered as she filled her teacup. But what she didn't know was that Beastboy meant something else not what Robin wanted him to say.

Terra instantly get interesting as she began to get suspicious.

"What exactly happened…yesterday?" Terra asked glareing at Raven. Beastboy turned to her and immediately her glare was gone.

"Just something…it's kinda Raven's business," Beastboy said to his girlfriend of two months. She nodded understanding the problem. Beastboy give a small smile and stood up to put his plate in the sink next to Raven.

When he left Terra let out a growl of jealousy and anger. She was going to find out what exactly happened either the easy way or…the hard way. Raven could feel anger radiating off of Terra, having empathy could tell her, her teammates feelings only if it was in great amount like Terra was here. Raven turned to see her face. She looked as calm as ever with a small smile. _"Good Actress,"_ Raven thought.

Next to her Beastboy was cleaning the dishes silently, Raven looked at what he was doing, the sight of his hands, wishing she could hold them. Suddenly Terra came in between them and pushed Raven out of the way giving Raven a look, Terra placed her lips on Beastboy's he was surprised by her actions and broke the kiss.

"Uh…Terra I'm washing the dishes right now," Beastboy said awkwardly. Terra looked hurt but it quickly went when she got an idea.

"Then I'll wait for you," she said with a smile. Turning around she saw Raven with a pained expression. Satisfied with her work she left the kitchen humming happily.

Raven saw the thing that most pained her…sure she had seen them kiss before but it always hurt, seeing the one you love with all your heart kissing another girl it was the most painful thing.

Beastboy finished washing the dishes and turned to the side he saw Raven looking down at her tea not moving at all, her face was paler then before, she looked hurt he swore he could see tears forming in her eyes.

"Raven?…" Beastboy began as he wiped of his hands looking at her with concern.

Raven looked up blinking away her tears.

"What?…" She whispered as she sniffed.

"Is something wrong…you look paler," Beastboy asked as he looked at her face.

"No…just…allergies…" Raven answered softly. Beastboy eyebrow lifted in confusion.

"Allergies…what is it your allergic to?" He questioned, Raven looked panicked as her eyes scanned the kitchen looking for something.

"The dishwashing soap…" she lied quietly. Beastboy shrugged.

"I'll tell Robin to get a new one then ok?" he said with a smile on his face. The violet haired girl looked into his eyes and smiled. She was glad to know that at least someone cared.

"Thanks…I'll go read, I think Terra's waiting for you in the living room," Raven informed him as her gaze turned to Terra who was sitting patiently on the sofa watching TV.

"Beastboy!" a shout erupted from the living room. Raven looked at Beastboy who sighed.

"Coming!" Beastboy screamed back. He turned his gaze back to Raven.

"Girlfriend calling," Beastboy laughed as he scratched the back of his neck. Raven nodded slowly trying to keep her emotions in check.

Beastboy went to Terra, who immediately latched onto him and began to kiss him. Raven looked away from the sight. Her heart hurt, she felt like a knife was stabbing her every time they showed affection. She took a sit on the counter and began to read trying to take her eyes off of them. But the constant giggling coming from Terra was to distracting…she prayed someone would stop them before she broke down.

"Ya'll better get a room!" Cyborg exclaimed when he saw them.

She sighed. "Thank you Cyborg…" she thought in her mind.

Terra smiled and released Beastboy.

"Yeah, Yeah, maybe we will!" Terra answered and sent a sly look at Beastboy who blushed, and cleared his throat.

"You know, I want to stay here and play Mega Moneys 8 with Cyborg, how about it Cy?" the green Titan asked his best bud.

"Hell Ya and Ima beat you like always!" Cyborg began to gloat.

"I'll just leave then, Terra sighed. If she wouldn't have any attention from Beastboy then she would leave.

Suddenly Starfire blocked her path.

"Oh, but friend I wish to do the painting of the nails!" Starfire pleaded with a smile. Terra looked hesitant.

"I'm kind of want to go lay down," Terra began.

"Friend you do not wish to do the painting of the nails with me?" Starfire said sadly as she bowed her head down.

"No Star I do I do!" Terra assured rather quickly. Starfire was cheerful once again.

"Glorious!" she grabbed Terra and dragged her to her room.

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**Night 11:46 pm**

Raven tossed and turned in her sleep, her mind wasn't at peace, this happened to her everyday the only thing that calmed her was her long walks, the night air subsided the pain she felt everyday. She changed into her uniform and left the Tower. Unknown to her that she was being followed.

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**Much Love. Peace. Review **

**RaventhePortal**


	3. Followed

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance**

**Chapter 3. Followed**

Beastboy was still up in bed tossing and turning with a loud sigh, he leapt of his bed with only his white undershirt and green boxers he left his room. He was walking down the hallway, he passed Robin's room, he was there. He passed Starfire's room, she was there too he could smell a strawberry scent. Cyborg he was there to he could smell motor oil that stuck on the half robot Titan when he was working on the T-car. Terra…he didn't smell anything.

"Terra?" he knocked on her door. No one answered.

"Must be in the bathroom…" he said to himself. Yawning he walked by Raven's room…the scent of lavender was gone…he stopped at her door. Did she go on one of her midnight walks?

"Raven?" Beastboy asked. No one answered as well. He began to get suspicious she probably left. He was worried that something could happen to her, racing to his room he changed to his uniform and was off to find Raven. He had a bad feeling that something terrible was going to happen...

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Raven was walking down the path of Jump City's park. It was dark; there was no sound except for the crickets; she felt insecure. Something inside told her to go back…but she pushed it away she needed to clear her mind. Leaning against a tree she sighed and closed her eyes taking in the cold air and earthy scent.

Terra watched from an alley poking her head out just enough to be able to see her.

"So this is were she's been going…" thought Terra as she observed Raven's actions…Suddenly something got her eye…a man? It was hidden in the shadows and seemed to approach Raven, but Raven was oblivious to this she just leaned on the tree her eyes closed. Terra watched wondering what the young man would do listening closely she heard him speak.

"I've been waiting for you…" the person spoke.

Terra smiled. " I knew it! That slut, she's been coming out to met that guy I'm so telling Beastboy!" Terra screamed in her mind. Just then she heard Raven scream, looking closely she saw Raven struggling against the man's grip. She kicked him down there and began to run. The man groaned holding his injured body part.

The man began to run after her. They disappeared deeper into the park. Terra decided to follow them. Stepping out of the alley she ran after them. Following the screams she hid herself behind a tree. She looked out Raven was held by the wrist, she began to say her words

"Azarath Metrion Zin—"

When the man slapped her forbidding her from speaking she cried out in pain. Terra did feel pity for Raven, but she was trying to steal her boyfriend, and she would do anything to keep him; even if it meant lying.

"Ok so she's not meeting him…but I'll just stretch the truth…I mean she's still going to do it," Terra said with a smirk.

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Beastboy heard screams erupt throughout the streets…Raven?

"Oh no!" Beastboy changed into a cheetah and ran to the park where the sound came from.

The man pushed her down on the floor grinning at his achievement. But suddenly a green cheetah pounced on him.

The green cheetah growled in the man's face, he scratched his face with his claws leaving a crimson mark blood flow down his cheek. The man groaned in pain. The cheetah changed form to one of a human.

Beastboy.

He held the man by his shirt and shook him hard.

"You bastard! Taking advantage of a girl by herself!" Beastboy screamed with fury. The man quivered in fear.

"I—I—I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!" he pleaded. Beastboy's eyebrow narrowed he growled in his face.

"Sorry's not enough!" he shouted and punched the guy out. The man lay on the ground unconscious.

Raven was on the floor crying. Beastboy quickly went to her and hugged her tightly.

"Raven, are you okay!" Beastboy asked as he held her tightly to him. She cried onto his shoulder. He began to brush her hair trying to calm her down.

"Did he do anything to you?" Beastboy questioned he was worried about Raven, he cared very much for her…and seeing that guy almost… he couldn't bring himself to even think the word. He pressed her head against his neck holding her to him not letting go until her sobbing stopped. Raven lifted her head and looked at his eyes.

"He, only slapped me," she said quietly turning her face away from him, due to embarrassment. Beastboy let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank god he didn't do anything else…are you okay?" he asked as he placed a hand on her right cheek that was red from the slap she received. She nodded.

"Don't worry, I wont let anything happen to you," Beastboy assured and gazed at her. She looked so beautiful such an innocent girl didn't deserve that kind of treatment. After all she had gone through; Trigon. Slowly he wiped her tears away, staring into her violet eyes that reflected pain…and love?

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Terra watched fuming with anger and jealousy. She growled under her breath.

"I hate you Raven! So much I will get revenge!" Terra screamed in her mind. She saw how close they were, she wanted to go out there and stop it but if she came out they would ask why she was there and why she didn't try to help Raven. Cursing herself she ran back to the Tower.

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Realizing just how close they were Raven backed away. Even though she really wanted to be this close to him, being in his arm, inhaling his scent…she couldn't Terra had him even though she hated her, Raven couldn't bring herself to make Beastboy cheat on Terra.

Beastboy felt Raven back away from his embrace with a confused expression he asked why.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly as his eyes searched her own for answers. She merely looked down her beautiful violet hair falling in her face making her look if possible prettier.

"I just…can't" Raven responded in a firm tone. She had to keep emotionless; she couldn't show emotion; but it was hard too. Beastboy looked confused.

"It's all right I'm not going to hurt you like that guy," he assured her as he reached out and held her hand. Raven felt her insides burn from his touch, she loved him so much… but he belonged to someone else. Looking into his green eyes she responded.

"Its not that…but, thank you for saving me," Raven said as she stared at him with appreciation.

Beastboy smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Your welcome, I wouldn't let anyone do that to you, if you need help just call me, I'll be there, remember, you're not alone."

Raven was touched by his words she never had someone that truly cared about her, someone that would be there for her. He was a great friend one she would always carry in her heart. She wished she could just confess her feelings, but she knew she couldn't, it was forbidden. The thought just pained her that she had to keep her emotions under her skin; never to come out…She felt a tear come roll down her cheek. She hated herself for this.

Beastboy saw and his face turned to one of concern, he wiped the tear away feeling the coldness of her flesh immediately he embraced her letting her tears stain his uniform. Beastboy felt sadness over come him he never liked seeing people cry it hurt him as well…and seeing Raven cry…pained his heart. He didn't know why but he didn't like seeing her cry she had suffered so much in her life… that's why he always tried to make her smile.

He brushed her violet hair inhaling her lavender scent. For some reason Raven seemed to make him more peaceful, content, happy…she caused so many emotions in him and he began to wonder why. Every time he saw Terra he felt…nothing…she was his girlfriend but he never felt that tingling feeling he had when he first met her. It just seemed to vanish when she turned stone and the only girl that was there was Raven, he had been around her more…and now Terra came back. Terra was the first girl to love him probably the only girl…what he didn't know was that the girl in his arms loved him much more then Terra ever would and her love was pure and real…not some girlish crush or infatuation.

Raven's tears ceased as she began to drift into sleep. Beastboy picked her up and carried her in his arms startling her, but she remained silent, her slender legs fell lightly over his arm. Her back lay on his other arm, her arms held onto his neck as she drifted to sleep. Beastboy looked down at her, smiling he made his long walk back to the Tower…

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Terra lay on her bed punching furiously at her pillow. She was enraged that Raven was stealing Beastboy away from her. And Beastboy was falling for her she knew it she could sense it when he stared at the dark girl.

"You will pay Raven! Mark my words; you will pay…" she screamed in her room as she threw her pillow at the wall.

Suddenly she heard the door to the hallway open; quickly she stepped out of her room. There was Beastboy with Raven in his arms sleeping. Terra bubbled with anger inside but kept it in and out a look of worry on her face.

"Beastboy what happened to Raven?" she said in a fake worried voice. Beastboy frowned at the remembrance.

"Raven…she almost got…" he started, Terra knew what happened but she played dumb.

"Got what Beastboy?" Terra questioned as she looked at Raven's face with concern.

"…She almost got...raped…if I wasn't there something bad would of happened," Beastboy explained, Terra gasped.

"Poor Raven, want me to help you take her to her room?" Terra asked sweetly. Beastboy smiled oblivious to the fakeness that lay behind her words.

"Thanks Terra," he said happy to know his girlfriend cared.

"No problem," she replied with a smile. Beastboy nodded and began to make his way to her room. Beastboy typed the code in and the door opened. Terra took note of the code for future reference.He placed her delicate body on her bed picking her head up to put the pillow underneath. He did everything with special care while Terra watched hatefully, she pulled the covers on her and let her rest. They stepped out leaving Raven to sleep.

Terra held Beastboy's hand and walked back to her room. Stopping at her door she smiled at him.

"See you tomorrow!" she leaned in to kiss him, Beastboy let her although he did very little in the kiss. Terra pulled away from him looking confused.

"What's wrong Beastboy? Why don't you want to kiss me anymore?" she asked sadly.

"No it's not that…" he stuttered, Terra didn't look satisfied.

"Then what is it?" Terra questioned as he stood there looking flushed.

"Is it that you don't love me anymore!" Terra shouted.

"No! No you see…I'm just confused about something," he stated as he began to sweat out of nervousness.

"So you do love me?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, I love you,"

Terra closed the gap between them and began to kiss him.

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Raven felt the warmness of Beastboy's body leave; slowly she got out of bed. She still had her leotard and cloak on, it was filled with dirt and leaves from being pushed on the floor; she shivered at the thought. Taking her purple silk night gown and robe she left her room thinking about Beastboy…how concerned he was for her how he cared and never let go of her until her crying stopped. Was it possible that he might like her? No! It's forbidden...

Stepping out of her room she made her way to the bathroom. Her foot touched the ground lightly careful not to make a sound. She saw two shadowed figures that were very close. Careful to not make a sound she rounded the corner to see the thing that most pained her.

There was Beastboy kissing Terra…they both seemed really into it. Raven stood there frozen she didn't know what to do…she was stupid to think she had a chance with Beastboy! Terra opened her eyes and saw Raven there with a sad expression adorning her pale face… smirking she closed her eyes and deepened the kiss …she knew that would get back at Raven for trying to steal her boyfriend!.

Raven saw Terra open her eyes. Terra was trying to bring her pain…she wouldn't give her the satisfaction no not anymore! Holding back her tears…she walked up confidently. They stood in her way to the bathroom that was next to Terra's room. Terra parted from Beastboy.

"Oh I'm sorry we were in your way!" she spoke as she turned to Raven grinning. Raven stared back emotionless if Terra's mission was to break her down; she wasn't about to let her.

"Don't worry… I was just heading to the shower, feel free to continue your…_activity_," Raven said trying to keep her voice firm but failing. Beastboy turned to Raven and immediately pulled away from Terra.

"Um…Raven…sorry, you had to see…that," Beastboy spoke as he looked down at the floor. Terra grinned.

"Yes we are very sorry you had to see us _kissing_," Terra spoke putting more emphasis on the word kissing.

She looked away from them then walked past them going into the shower.

Beastboy sighed. Terra's grin disappeared

"What's wrong?" she asked sadly.

"Nothing…well I'll see you tomorrow…" he said softly. Terra frowned getting angry.

"Whatever!" she went in and closed her door slamming it in his face.

Beastboy stood still for a moment. Did her really see Raven have tears in her eye's when she saw them? Or was it his imagination?

He heard the running water of the shower and leaned against the wall listening to the sound. He could smell the shampoo Raven was using…he thought back to everything that happened. Discovering Raven that night, their conversation, this morning when Raven was making her tea, this night when she almost got…he couldn't say it…now this!. Was it his imagination or was he always there? Why was it that every time he was there Raven seemed sad and pained?

This was so frustrating! Lost in thought he didn't hear the bathroom door open.

"Beastboy? What are you doing still out here?" Raven asked. Beastboy looked up he was amazed. There was Raven her hair was slightly wavy from the water, her violet hair fell to her back as two strands fell in front framing her pale face that shined. She wore a silk purple nightgown that hugged her figure, her shoulders exposed as the strap of the nightgown hung on them, her legs smooth and pale, and the scent coming off her was intoxicating… Raven looked. Beautiful.

"Beastboy?" Raven asked again. Beastboy snapped back to reality. Looking into her violet eyes that told so much that told her emotions, her feelings…right new she was feeling insecure…

"Sorry Rae, just got distracted…is everything all right I mean after…" Beastboy began. Raven looked down.

"I'm…fine…thankfully you were there, I appreciate it a lot," Raven thanked as her eyes met his locked. They stood there in a moment of silence. They came closer…

"Look I—" he started but then a loud booming voice made him stop immediately.

"Yo! You guys have to be in bed right now!" Cyborg said appearing from the end of the hallway. They stepped away from each other. Cyborg eyed them suspiciously.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Nothing! Cyborg it's not what you think!" Beastboy shouted panicked as he chuckled nervously. Cyborg raised an eyebrow in amusement. Raven looked down.

"Well all right, now ya'll better get to bed tomorrow Robin's making us train…spiky head, know it all—" Cyborg began his insult when Raven cut in.

"We get the message…good night," she faced Beastboy.

"And thanks…" she whispered.

"No problem…remember anytime you need help or want to talk, just call me," Beastboy reminded her. She nodded and started to her room.

When she entered her room. Cyborg turned to Beastboy.

"You're not cheating on Terra, are you?" Cyborg asked as he raised an eyebrow. Beastboy shook his head.

"No, just…something happened to her," he stated.

"What happened?" The half machine Titan asked as his face turned to one of concern…he noticed he was beginning to drift away from Raven and he felt guilty about it they used to be close like brother and sister.

"Raven…she almost got...raped…" Beastboy explained, as his face showed worry.

"Holy crap! That bastard didn't do anything right?" Cyborg questioned as he panicked.

"No thank God I was there to stop him before he did anything further…"

"I feel so guilty we haven't been there for her…I guess we got distracted with Terra coming back and all…" Cyborg told him as he looked down in shame.

"I guess we all did…including me…" Beastboy said, as his voice got softer.

"I'm glad your there to help her, she really needs someone who understands her and I think you're the perfect guy," Cyborg said smiling. Beastboy smiled back.

"Yeah… I just hopes she comes to me when she needs help…well I'll see you at training tomorrow."

"Yeah…damn Robin!" Cyborg spoke as he left the hallway.  
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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	4. Choices

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 4. Choices**

Early morning Robin called everyone down for training. They all knew not to argue with him because he wouldn't be convinced so why bother. Robin, Starfire and Cyborg were in the living room waiting for the others.

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Raven had finished putting her uniform on, her hair was brushed; it fell slightly over framing her face. She could really do anything with her hair and still look beautiful. Sighing, she looked at her meditation mirror she was going to use it later on. Placing the mirror back down on her dresser she exited the room.

Yesterday was terrible, that man had almost taken advantage of her. She felt like staying in her room and not going out to face the world, she was thankful Beastboy arrived in time; he was her savior. She knew she could count on him he was a true friend.

"_A friend…that's all he will ever be…" _she thought to herself, a frown formed on her lips as she bowed her head. _" Don't think about it Raven…your only bring yourself down," _she told herself. As long as Terra was there, she was to keep away from him and to not think such thoughts as to loving him. But she loved Beastboy with all her heart. That she couldn't deny, he had been there for her so many times…even now…he's remained by her side.

"I wish I could tell you…" she said softly as she stared at her hands that were lightly shaking. Her head hurt a little from the events that happened last night being pushed on the floor had its consequences, well that's what she thought caused it…yet she was feeling her forehead burning. She felt slight pain but she could live with it. Rubbing her head she heard a voice behind her.

"Are you okay?"

Raven turned around to see Beastboy standing there. He was worried she could tell, this made her smile but it quickly left when she thought it was only pity not anything else.

"I'm fine, … my head just hurts" Raven replied looking at the floor.

"Is there anything I can do to help…I mean after yesterday…" he asked as he stepped forward. She shook her head.

"Its not necessary," she whispered as she lifted her head his eyes searched her own.

"But you might have a fever…it was cold outside yesterday, and you took a shower too," he explained, Raven shrugged.

"I don't think so…" she responded, suddenly she felt pressure on her forehead. Beastboy had placed his hand on her forehead to feel if it was hot. He kept his hand there as he moved it a little to find any temperature changes. Raven remained still, slightly confused but happy that he actually cared. Beastboy's hand retreated back; he placed his other hand on his forehead as if he was looking for any difference. He nodded and looked back at Raven.

"You got a fever Rae, " he said as he placed his hand back to her head. She blushed at the touch he didn't seem to notice only concentrating on her temperature.

"A fever? I don't think so I feel perfectly fine…" she responded as her eyebrow rose.

"Feel it, here," he took her hand in his and placed it on her own forehead, his palm was on the back of her hand. Raven felt herself burn up…was it because of the touch or her fever…maybe both.

"There's nothing wrong," she replied calmly. Beastboy sighed. He moved her hand to his forehead.

"See the difference?" he questioned as he held her hand close to him. She was embarrassed at the situation they were in; feeling each other's forehead.

"I guess, maybe I do have a fever, I did feel pain this morning…" Raven answered as she thought back to this morning.

"See I'm right!" Beastboy exclaimed with a smile. Raven smiled a little and rolled her eyes. Even in the most terrible days he could always make her smile, that's what she loved about him he always took her out of the darkness…he brought her happiness; though sometimes she wouldn't show it but secretly she liked being told jokes by him.

"It must be the end of the world" Raven replied sarcastically showing a small smile of her own. Beastboy frowned but he took a look at her expression, she was playing around. He laughed.

"Still out to get me I see," he said with a grin.

"Like always," she answered.

"Beastboy!" an over excited squeal came from the end of the hallway. They turned to see Terra there, Raven's emotions whined inside, but she held an emotionless expression.

"Beastboy, how are you?" Terra greeted as she pecked his cheek.

"Um…fine I guess…I thought you were mad at me," he said not putting much thought into the question. Terra smiled.

"I was, but I knew I couldn't stay mad at you forever. You know I love you," Terra replied. Raven cringed at the word 'love', did Terra get some sort of pleasure bringing Raven pain? Terra then turned to Raven.

"Raven and how are you? Are you ok after what happened yesterday? Remember you almost got _raped_," Terra asked putting emphasis on the word rape. Why was she always out to get Raven? Did she enjoy torturing her? Beastboy had made her forget, his smile made her forgot the horrible event that occurred yesterday…now it was all back.

"Terra!" Beastboy shouted angrily at the way his girlfriend said it.

"What did Ido?" Terra asked innocently. As she pointed a finger to herself in shock.

"Can, you just give us a moment. I need to speak to Raven right now," Beastboy demanded as he approached Raven and grabbed her arm.

"But-"

"We'll talk later, right now Raven needs my help," Beastboy explained. Raven looked up not wanting to cause any more trouble she refused.

"No Beastboy…I don't want to cause trouble…I'll just be in my room…tell Robin I'm not going to training," she told him trying to keep her voice steady. Beastboy's expression turned to one of concern.

"It's no trouble," Beastboy assured her. Raven shook her head.

"No, I need to meditate anyway, I'm sure Terra would like your company."

"But—" Beastboy began, but Terra got furious.

"Beastboy!" Terra warned.

"All right, remember Raven when you need me don't hesitate to ask," Beastboy reminded her with a smile, Raven nodded and retreated into her room.

"Beastboy, Raven, Terra! Get down here now!" Robin shouted over the speakers.

Beastboy groaned as he slapped a hand on his face. He walked to the living room with Terra.

Robin was sitting on the couch with Starfire and Cyborg waiting for the three Titans.

"It's about time. What took you guys so long?" Robin asked as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. Robin had defiantly become more serious and strict; he wanted everyone to be on time no exceptions.

"Robin, were only 15 minutes late, can you lay off a bit?" Beastboy asked as he approached the Titans. Robin forced out a sigh.

"Fine. I'll let you guys of the hook this time…where's Raven?" he asked when he noticed only Terra and Beastboy there.

"Raven has a fever I don't think she should train with us today…" Beastboy explained. Robin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"How? I mean she's been locked in her room almost all day and we hardly see her," Robin said. Starfire nodded in agreement.

"Yes, Raven has been absent many times, I do think something may be wrong," Starfire said after agreeing with Robin. Cyborg glanced at Beastboy, he and Beastboy were the only one's that knew what happened last night…or so they thought.

Terra knew she could get Raven in trouble right now if she wanted to. But the question here was should she tell or not?. If she told Raven would be in so much trouble maybe even get a punishment, she liked the idea of Raven being away from them especially Beastboy. But if she told, the Titans would ask why she hadn't said anything? And Beastboy may get suspicious. This was so frustrating! What should she do? _"Come on Terra! What would be the best thing to do?" _she shouted in her mind.

Beastboy glanced at Cyborg, should he tell them? I mean this is Raven's business he had no right to tell everyone about it. No, he couldn't not now if he told Robin, Raven might get in trouble for sneaking out of the tower at night. He would ask Raven if she was okay with telling them before making any decisions he had already told Cyborg. But he knew Cyborg was a trusted friend he was his best male friend, then came Raven. Raven…he wondered if she was all right.

"Beastboy?" Robin asked again when Beastboy wasn't responded.

"Umm, Robin I do not think he can hear you," Starfire informed.

"Beastboy!" Robin shouted angered that he was being ignored. Did it seem like Beastboy was ignoring everyone and only thinking of Raven?. Beastboy snapped out of his thoughts.

"Dude, you don't have to yell, and I don't know…I guess you should ask her," Beastboy responded calmly. Terra looked at her boyfriend. She knew, Beastboy knew about Raven and were she was, in fact he was there to rescue her. _"So he's trying to keep this a secret"_ Terra thought.

"Starfire can you ask her after training?" Robin asked. The alien beauty smiled sweetly and nodded her head.

"Of course! I have not spoken to Raven in a long time, and I am feeling sad for not doing so," Starfire announced with some sadness in her voice.

"We all haven't," Cyborg spoke. Terra gritted her teeth, why was everyone caring about Raven now? Didn't they like her better then the dark girl!. She would not stand for this to happen.

"No, I will talk to her! Raven and I haven't bonded yet", Terra informed them with a smile. Beastboy stared at her for a moment he seemed hesitant.

"No, I think Starfire should, they haven't talked in a while, besides didn't you just talk to her a couple of minutes ago," Beastboy said.

"Uh…yes…your right Star should," The blonde girl stuttered nervously, scared that Beastboy might get mad at her…or already is.

"It's settled then. We need to talk to Raven, she is part of the team. She's our friend we can't let her drift away from us," Robin told them feeling guilty that he hadn't been paying attention to the half demon girl. Terra let out a disgusted grunt as she blew a strand of hair out of her tan face.

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Raven lay on her bed rubbing her temples. The fever she had was starting to hurt _a lot_. She felt herself burning up; she was starting to sweat.

"Ugh…I don't feel so well…my heart hurts too…" she muttered to herself. She tossed and turned in her bed trying to find a position where she could be comfortable.

"_Raven?"_ an emotion asked in her mind.

"What…" Raven responded to what seemed to be knowledge.

"_I think you should get help"_

"I'm fine. It will go away in a day or two."

"_I don't think this is any regular fever…"_

"What are you trying to say…"

"_What I'm trying to say is Love isn't feeling good as well…I do not think this is any regular fever."_

"What? But how does Love feel my fever?"

"_Love has been like this but yesterday she has received the most pain. Do you remember?"_

"Nothing happened yesterday…except…for that. But I don't think that would affect love..."

"_No, it would not affect her but what you saw afterwards. When Beastboy and Terra were kissing…"_

There was a silence.

"I don't want to remember that…"

"_It pains you just like it pains Love. Love had her hopes high when Beastboy rescued you from that bastard. She thought Beastboy may have some feelings for her, you did as well/"_

"No, I have never thought that, he loves Terra…always has, always will."

"_You realize that what your saying is only making you and Love worse."_

It was true Raven's state was getting worse by the minute. Every time she would bring herself down or remember when Beastboy kissed Terra. It would pain her from the inside and out.

"What do I do then? I don't have control over whom Beastboy loves! He loves Terra and I cant change that even though I wish I could…"

"_You have to do something before Love's state worsens if this continues you may be in critical danger."_

"…What can I do?"

"_Forget about him…"_

"What?"

"_You can forget about him. When you do Love will be gone she will not affect you anymore. But if you don't Love will die slowly taking you as well, because you are going through pain Love is feeling it to."_

"But how do you expect me to stop loving the boy that takes me out of the darkness!"

"_Don't you understand he is bringing you pain as well!"_

"…I don't care… I love him…"

"_Then you will die, along with all of us…"_

"Isn't there another choice?"

"…_There is…but it isn't a choice. It's a feeling, if Beastboy returns the feelings you have for him, Love will recover. But I highly doubt that he will. He's with Terra."_

"Then there's nothing I can do…"

"_You have many choices Raven…"_

"…I wont do anything about it…"

"_Then there's no hope…"_

Knowledge left her. Raven laid on her bed her face pressed again her pillow as she wept. She could hear the rest of the team training outside. Robin cheering for Starfire. Cyborg gloating at his record time. And Terra rooting for Beastboy. What could she do now? Just hearing Beastboy pained her. How can she live here? Should she forget about Beastboy? Should she leave?. Should she tell anyone about her condition? Or should she die alone like she was supposed to…cold, unloved, with no one to care… Some many decisions but no clue what to do.

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**Much Love. Peace. Review **

**RaventhePortal**


	5. Secrets Revealed

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 5. Secrets Revealed**

They had finally finished the training session and were so tired it seemed impossible to move. Robin had a smile on his face after he stopped timing them; they had improved so much and he was proud.

"Excellent work guys! How about I'll let you guys have no training for a week?" he announced.

"Awesome!" Beastboy exclaimed with a smile. Terra also smiled and then grabbed his hand.

"Now we can finally have time to go on a date!" She said happily. Beastboy only smiled at this statement. Date? They haven't been on one in a long time and quiet frankly he seemed nervous about it.

"Hey! Save the flirting for later!" Cyborg said in a playful way as he let a grin spread on his face.

"Please, let us go to the gym. I need to use the showers," Starfire stated who was sweaty and hot. Robin nodded at her and they left inside.

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The Titans had entered and Beastboy sat on the bench letting his body lean against the wall as he let out a breath; he was beyond tired his legs felt like jelly after all that running. When he saw Robin begin to lift weights his eyes widened as his mouth dropped open.

"Dude, aren't you tired? How can you still lift weights after all that training!" he exclaimed.

"Keep complaining and I'll call of the training free week," he threatened.

Terra jabbed Beastboy on the side making him wince in pain. "Ugh, sorry I asked..." he said softly as he rubbed his side and Cyborg laughed at this.

Starfire had come out of the showers and now looked refreshed and of course not sweaty. Robin immediately set down the weights to look at her as she smiled at him.

"Robin, I need to talk to Raven," she explained and everyone went silent. Beastboy's head lifted at the mention of her name, he exchanged a glance with Cyborg who was also worried. Raven...after last night, he had many thoughts crossing through his mind, how was she doing? was she alright?

"Of course Star, tell us how she is okay?" Robin responded. Starfire nodded then left the room, but her face no longer held happiness but worry.

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Slowly she approached Raven's door and knocked cautiously at her door.

**Knock. Knock.**

No Answer...

**Knock. Knock.**

No Answer...

"Raven?" she started she heard footsteps approach and could swear she heard sniffs. Maybe she was just imagining things.

Raven had feared this, why Starfire? why anyone in fact? She couldn't open the door, no; she was still filled with pain after last night. She was dieing for the love of Azar! And all because of that damn love she had for him...for Beastboy. She couldn't deny that, she loved him with all her heart and soul and no one could change that not even death...

"Raven?" she asked once more. "Please, you must open. I know I haven't been a good friend and I am truly sorry. You are still my friend and I care about you. And now friend Beastboy has told me that you have a fever and I am most worried. I cannot let the rekmas drift us apart again. You must open the door, please, Raven..." she said truthfully as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Suddenly the door opened before her emerald eyes and there stood Raven looking a terrible wreck.

"Oh friend! What has happened?" Starfire immediately questioned looking scared at the sight of dry tearstains.

"Nothing..." Raven whispered and turned her back to Starfire and returned to her bed. But Starfire wouldn't leave Raven alone again; she was going to get to the bottom of this no matter what. Quickly she stepped inside the dark room letting the door shut behind them.

"You are mistaken, there is something wrong, you must tell me. What trouble's you?" she asked with concern as she took a sit next to Raven on the bed.

Her violet eyes seemed to fill with sadness once again. No, be strong! You can't let anyone see you breakdown like this.

"I said nothing's wrong..." she repeated her words shaking; she still refused to look at the Tamaranian.

Starfire then turned her to face her and looked her straight in the eye. "You need to tell me, I will understand, I promise you that."

Raven seemed hesitant. "I can't tell you."

"Yes you can Raven, I am your friend!"

"You wouldn't understand, this isn't just a fever!" She shouted at Starfire who only looked her straight in the eyes.

"Believe me I will," she stated in a different tone that seemed so un Starfire like.

"...I..." she started but the words kept returning in her mouth, she couldn't say it.

"Raven, you must tell me. I will understand I assure you that. Anything you tell me will be kept a secret, I swear," she said once again this made Raven stop hesitating.

Raven got off the bed and walked across the room towards her window and looked outside. The ocean seemed calmed and the sky was clear yet dark. Maybe...she could trust Starfire...maybe she could tell her...her secret. Raven then slowly turned and looked back at Starfire who had stood up and remained quiet awaiting her reply.

"It's an emotion..." she said then looked down.

"What emotion..." Starfire questioned now becoming more curious.

"...Love..." she finally admitted; she turned back around and faced her window, she closed her eyes then said the following words. "For Beastboy...I love him..." she felt tears roll down her pale check at saying the mere name.

A gasp escaped Starfire's lips at this secret. Beastboy? Had she heard right?

"Please, don't tell anyone!" Raven panicked at the sound of her gasp. "If he finds out, it'll break our friendship and his own relationship."

"I promised you that I would keep your promise and a promise I shall keep. You can trust me Raven, but when has this happened? When have you fallen in love with him?" she questioned with curious filled eyes.

Raven seat back down on her bed. "Months...years ago..."

"YEARS! How could you keep that in for so long? you must tell him, he needs to know!" Starfire exclaimed with shock as she took this in.

"I can't tell him! He's with Terra...he's forbidden, and I can't do anything about it. He doesn't love me and he never will."

"You cannot be sure, you do not know the feelings he has about you about anyone."

"Then why is he with Terra?" she questioned after Starfire's statement.

Starfire then looked down, she was right why was he with Terra? Because he loved her that's why. Why wouldn't he? Terra was pretty and well she actually laughed at his jokes...she was his type.

"Look, it doesn't even matter now...it's hopeless."

"Yes, it does matter! You cannot let love go unnoticed!" Starfire countered back now somewhat furious. "You must tell; you cannot let this go on. He needs to know!"

"You don't understand! He's with someone else, he doesn't love me!" Raven shouted at Starfire now angry and her violet eyes forming tears. Something inside Starfire suddenly clicked.

"Do not dare to say that I do not understand!" Starfire argued back now tears falling down her emerald eyes. "I understand more than you will ever know! I have also kept this feeling hidden and it pains me as well!"

Raven's expression softened at the sight of the crying girl. She did understand, she loved Robin...

"Why do you think I want you to tell Beastboy? I want you to be happy!"

"You don't get it, Robin returns his feelings for you!" Raven shouted back her own eyes pouring crystal tears.

"But he has not done anything! I've waited four years and has not said a single thing to me about feelings...he had so many chances...yet he did not do a thing..." Starfire stated looking Raven in the eyes.

Raven turned around not daring to look into her eyes; she had so much pain inside her. Starfire was strong not only physical but emotionally as well. She had kept this hidden for so many years.

"You don't give up hope...for Robin...do you?" Raven questioned now turning back around to find Starfire completely silent. Slowly she spoke.

"Yes... you should not either..." Starfire wiped her tears away as she said those words.

"But how can I have hope...when there's nothing to hope for?"

"Love, that is...something to hope for." Starfire said softly she then reached out to Raven and gave her a hug not caring if she wanted one or not. She felt her friend needed one after all these confessions.

Raven seemed startled at first but then returned the friendly hug. Starfire did understand more than she would ever know...

"You can trust me in everything Raven, I shall be there to help..." Starfire spoke truthfully. She parted from her and gave her a small smile. "And I promise I won't say a word."

"Thank you Starfire," Raven said in a very sincere voice.

"It is no problem...no I shall see you downstairs and strong do not let Terra break you down."

"I won't..." Raven responded though she wished she could stay inside her room and not face anyone she had too. For Starfire, for her. Raven had to be strong not matter what...

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**Much Love. Peace. Review **

**RaventhePortal**


	6. Dreams and Pain

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 6. Dreams and Pain**

Robin was sitting at the table eating, rather playing with his food. He had much on his mind, mainly concerns for his team. He twirled his silver fork in the piece of chocolate cake not really wanting to eat. His mind began to drift into dreamland and there he saw a figure who had her back turned to him; but he could recognize that long red hair and beautiful tan skin. The purple uniform so familiar to him, slowly the figure turned but instead of the happy expression she always held it was filled with sorrow. He instantly felt a pang of guilt for some reason, he didn't know why but he felt like he caused it. He placed a hand on her cheek but she only turned away leaving tears on his fingers.

_"Starfire? What's wrong? What happened?" _

_She looked up at him with those emerald eyes filled with tears, it broke his heart to see her suffering like this._

_"You will never know..." she replied softly then turned away from him and disappeared._

"Robin? Robin...Robin!" the voice shouted his name and quickly woke him up from his dream better named nightmare.

"Wh-- Yeah, I'm awake!" he mumbled causing her to giggle. This made him smile glad to know that she was feeling nowhere near like she had in his dream.

"Robin, you have chocolate all over your cheek," she laughed.

"I do?" Robin touched his cheeks and indeed found the substance.

"Here, let me assist," she then pulled a napkin from the table and wiped his face. This was so embarrassing! She probably thought he couldn't eat! Oh, the humiliation!

"Uh...thanks..."

"It is no problem...now would you care to tell me what you were dreaming about?" Starfire questioned. Robin's face flushed, she knew about it? Oh God, he can't tell her, she would think badly of him.

"Oh, it's, uh, nothing..." he quickly responded and didn't look her in the face. She just arched an eyebrow but shrugged it off. "Anyway...did you talk to Raven?" now it was Starfire's turn to flush.

"I, uh, um...I have..." she said nervously. Robin immediately noticed her nervousness.

"What did she say?" he asked as he eyed her every move.

"She said she is sick but she will come down shortly."

"There's more..."

"No there is not...that is all she said!" she retorted as she fiddled with her fingers. Robin observed her movements and knew there was something she was hiding.

"I know you Starfire; you're hiding something from me."

"I am not...that is all she said."

"Star---" he was interrupted by Raven, she walked in silently trying not to be noticed but she was.

"Raven, how come you weren't at training?" he questioned. Raven had finished filling the pot with water when she heard this. She turned to him then said.

"Why would that be of sudden importance to you?" she questioned in a cold manner. Then went back to boiling the water she was setting for tea.

"Because we're your friends and we're worried, and the fact that Beastboy said you had a high fever doesn't calm us down," Robin responded folding his arms across his chest and looking directly at her.

"Then that answer's your question, as Beastboy said, I have a fever, happy?"

"Of course I'm not happy! We're worried. I know there's something more," he said making Raven turn back around. She saw Starfire over his shoulder gesturing that she hadn't said a word.

"No there isn't," she responded then began to fill her cup with herbal tea. She saw the steam rise and calm her down, she needed this more than ever now.

"Robin, please, stop the interrogating of Raven," Starfire pleaded. Robin looked at her then gave a sigh; he was weak, weak for her.

"Fine...but you'll go back to training next week, you'll be better by then," he stated. Raven looked down at her cup she knew she would probably be dead by then, the very thought sent a chill up her spine.

Robin would find out...he promised himself that. He then retired to the couch and switched on the TV. Starfire accompanied him and sat next to him watching whatever shows he chose.

Suddenly the living room door's swished open once again and Cyborg had appeared, who was looking around for someone apparently.

"Any ya'll seen BB?" he asked, it looked like he had come out of the garage, probably working on the T-car. "He asked for the T-car but it needed repairs, now that I got it fixed he left!"

"I have not seen him friend," Starfire stated but there was worry in her voice. She looked at Raven who had her back to them and was slowly sipping her tea.

Raven heard his name and something inside burned but she tried to ignore it. She felt the grip on her cup tighten as she took deep breaths, not knowing that what was to come would bring her immense pain. _"Beastboy..."_

"You seen him Robin?" Cyborg questioned.

"He went out with Terra, for a _"romantic date"_ just a couple minutes ago," Robin explained not really paying attention to anything but the TV. He didn't know that what he had said was a terrible mistake.

A sudden cracking sound erupted throughout the Tower followed by a gasp. Starfire immediately jumped from her seat and turned towards Raven who remained with her back to them.

"Raven?" she questioned meekly almost afraid.

Raven remained quiet but cold only wince in pain. The cup had exploded in her hands causing pieces of the cup to dig deep under her skin. Her whole palm showed long open gashes with blood spilling down to her wrists. Her fingers coated in red blood and trembling from the impact.

Everyone remained silent listening for something that would escape Raven's mouth but she hadn't spoke. She hid her hand in her cloak and stepped away from the broken pieces with fear in her eye. Although no one had seen her injured hand a certain green-eyed girl saw it.

"Awe man, Rae did you do that?" Cyborg whined as he stared at the broken pieces that lay on the ground with a brown liquid underneath, he was guessing it was the herbal tea.

"Are you okay Raven?" Robin questioned now worried and confused as he got up.

Raven's eyes showed fear; she can't stay here any longer. She then quickly walked away leaving the three heroes' in confusion, well only two...

Starfire's expression was filled with concern and so she started to go after her when she suddenly felt a hand grab her own. She turned to see masked eyes that looked straight at her with determination.

"Tell me what's happening?" he asked softly as he stared into those emerald eyes that showed regret.

"You will never know..." she spoke those words that made his eyes widen, why? Because it strongly resemblanced his daydream. Slowly he let go of her arm and saw her walk away not knowing that there was a double meaning to her words...

He stayed silent thinking over her words. _"You will never know..."_ What won't he ever know? This was so frustrating! He, who solved so many cases, yet could not riddle this out. Something was hurting Raven and Starfire knew about it... He promised himself to find out and a promise he always keeps.

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Raven was running down the hall when she caught two familiar figures walking hand in hand by her. The pain once again cursed through her, she had to ignore them.

"Hey Rav---" Beastboy only managed to say but Raven just ran past him ignoring anything he said. He looked confused when she entered her room shutting her in from anything outside.

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Raven quickly shut the door, not caring what they would say because she ignored them. Raven was now sitting on her bed slowly taking out the long narrow pieces of glass. She winced as she took a broken piece that had dug really far under her skin. Blood kept pouring staining her cloak and wrists. How could she be so stupid! Letting anger and jealousy out this way! She promised Starfire that Terra won't break her down, but she did.

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**Meanwhile-**

"She's so rude," Terra stated with annoyance after seeing her ignore them.

"Something's wrong...I need to talk to her," he said quietly as he continued to stare at her door. Terra frowned at this; he was more interested in Raven then her.

"Aren't you supposed to be my boyfriend," she said as jealousy ran through her veins.

Beastboy faced her know and looked at her with seriousness. "I am your boyfriend, but you have to understand that Raven's my friend and I care about her too," he stated.

"But..." she managed to say but then quit what she was going to say she didn't want to ruin what they had. She would take out her anger on Raven later. She smirked to herself, _that witch is so easy to anger. I can say whatever I want and she'll keep quiet because she knows I'll reveal her deepest darkest secret..._

"Terra?"

"You know what your right...you have your own friends," she said with a small smile. Beastboy seemed surprised at this. She was so understanding, maybe their relationship could actually last.

"Thanks, I'll see you later," he said his goodbye. Terra then gave him a kiss to show her love.

"Later," she then left the hallway.

Beastboy then reached her door when he was about to knock a shout stopped him. He turned to see Starfire running quickly to him and catching his arm.

"Please, you must not bother her at the moment," Starfire announced as she caught her breath.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked but Starfire only shook her head.

"I cannot tell you, but you must not bother Raven," she repeated. She couldn't let Beastboy go in and make Raven feel more pain.

"But, she ran into her room looking scared, I want to know what's wrong with her!" he said now fully concerned.

"Exactly why I should talk to her!" Starfire shouted back. Somehow she felt a little anger towards him, probably because he and Terra had made Raven surface more then they will ever know.

**Meanwhile-**

Raven had heard all the arguing between Beastboy and Starfire. Actually they were still arguing, but it was only Starfire who was trying to buy her time. She would always be grateful to Starfire. She finished bandaging up her hand and then quickly teleported from the room.

"---But I'm her friend!" Beastboy continued to remind her. Starfire looked nervous he looked like he was about to push her aside, but she knew he wouldn't hurt her.

"I am sorry but I will talk to her, please leave. I will tell you what she tells me later okay?" Starfire offered him. Beastboy stayed silent for a moment eyeing her then he spoke.

"Fine...but you will tell me," he then left and disappeared down the stairs.

Starfire let out a big sigh. "That was...close," she tried to remember what Cyborg would say. She then looked around to make sure no one was around. Starfire quickly entered the code and stepped inside.

"Raven, you must go before Beas---" she stopped when she saw that Raven wasn't there. She walked across the room and stared out the window and saw a familiar figure standing outside facing the ocean, with her cloak blowing in the air. "Good luck..."

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Raven had managed to escape and was glad she wasn't found; she didn't want any more drama. It was still night and the sky was dark but a few stars were out. Her long violet hairs kept blowing the air and bothered her. Maybe she should cut it...no, this is the new Raven, with actual emotions, and a new Raven means a new look.

She suddenly remembered Robin's words. _"He went out with Terra, for a "romantic date" just a couple minutes ago," _she closed her eyes and bit her lip as a way to try and hold in her pain but she could still feel it. Her forehead wasn't as hot as before it was her heart that hurt. She guessed the fever was a temporary symptom.

Her thought's returned to Beastboy and Terra. Her eyes began to glaze over at the mere thought.

"He's so happy with her...why would I even try to interfere," she said to herself, when Starfire's words rang in her ear. _"Hope..."_

She felt her heart burn at this, she would never have him, never kiss him, never feel his love, like she felt for him. She hated this feeling! Why was she allowed to feel now more than ever before? Because her father's influence is gone forever...

Raven took of her cloak and laid on the sand then sat on it and brought her legs up to her chest and sat in silence.

"There's no hope..." she kept telling herself. Knowledge had told her that but then Starfire said the opposite. It was very confusing and frustrating, but she knew one thing for sure. She would try to forget him she wouldn't care anymore. She'll return to her cold, emotionless self. Maybe than she'll live in peace in quiet. As she thought this over she didn't know that someone was approaching her from behind.

A hand suddenly touched her shoulder making her scream and quickly chant her magic words when she then realized who it was.

"Beastboy?"

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	7. I Thought you would be there for me

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 7. I thought you would be there for me…**

_A hand suddenly touched her shoulder making her scream and quickly chant her magic words when she then realized who it was._

_"Beastboy?"_

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"Raven? What are you doing here?" he asked; his beautiful green eyes filled with confusion. Raven turned back around not wanting to face or talk to him. Beastboy noticed and sat next to her on her cloak she had laid down.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned in return her voice know monotone once again. He looked at her with more confusion, why had her voice and expression changed again?

"I came here to think…this is the place where I go when I need to think things over," he answered as he picked up a small rock looking at it with mild interest. Raven's violet eyes scanned the place and noticed that she indeed was sitting in 'his' spot. She just let out a sigh as she closed her eyes trying to block him from her sight. A sudden touch around her fingers made her eyes immediately fly open. She looked down to see Beastboy's fingers hold her hand with concern.

"What happened?" he asked worried he lightly touched the bandage making her wince in pain. She pulled back her hand and turned away from him.

"Nothing…" she replied but deep inside her she couldn't lie to herself. It was because of him but she couldn't tell him she hurt herself because of jealousy.

"This isn't nothing; what's happened?" he repeated now more determined then ever.

"What do you care," she said coldly causing her heart to burn but she held the pain in.

"More than you think," he replied sincerely. Raven looked back at him and stared into his eyes for a moment as well as him. She could see concern but than confusion. He was confused about something, but what?

"Stop lying," she said harshly.

"I'm not. Raven you still don't understand do you? I care for you. You're my best friend and no one could change that, I'll always be there for you," he said truthfully as he continued to look into her eyes. But she only turned away. "You can't kept turning away from everything…"

She looked back at him with a soft expression. He was right; she always turned away from everything and everyone. It was beginning to become a habit of hers and she admitted she hated it but it seemed like the only thing to do to escape from things she didn't want to see or hear.

So she looked down instead of at him.

"You can't look down too," he stated with a playful laugh. Raven looked up and her expression was one of annoyance making his laughter die away.

"Then what can I do?" she demanded.

"You can look at me," he said and that's Raven did.

It seemed like an eternity as Beastboy and Raven looked into each other's eyes. Raven could still feel his fingers on her hand; and how close they were. What should she do? Leave or stay? Suddenly she felt a warm touch on her pale cold cheek and this shocked her. Beastboy was holding her cheek and she could feel herself burn with love for him. What was happening? Was this right?

They came close; now it was unmistakable that it looked like they were going to kiss. Raven stayed frozen not knowing what to do; she was scared of what may happen. Scared that it could ruin their friendship; but she loved him so much and to have him right here almost kissing her was something she had always wished for. But she could feel his insecurity and knew something was wrong with him…

Beastboy on the other hand was more confused than ever. He was with Terra but he was feeling something for Raven and he didn't know what it was; he wasn't sure about anything. But his body seemed to always make the decisions for him; like hugging her when she cried, brushing her long violet when they embraced, wiping away her tears, speaking words of concern to her. He just couldn't stop himself from doing those things it was like an instinct, a reaction, something he _had _to do.

But he was just confused about his feelings, I mean he was with Terra and he liked her so much. He felt the relationship was starting to get better and maybe it could last. He used to love Terra; but maybe he could love her again. She was only person that loved him, well that's what he thought but he was so wrong. The girl next to him loved him more than Terra would but she kept it a secret unlike Terra.

Yeah, but what about Raven? She was his best friend! He was always there for her and she was there for him. He couldn't have feelings for her, his _best friend_. It wasn't how it's supposed to go, right? He would stay with Terra like the perfect couple they are and Raven would find someone that was like her. That's how it's supposed to be right? It's just how things have to be…but then why did he feel this strange feeling every time he saw her?

Raven could see in his eyes he was having second thoughts and questions about what could happen. She closed her eyes trying to hold in her tears. He still loved her; he was just doing this out of care not feelings like love.

She started to pull away but then his eyes sent a message saying don't go. But should she go or not?

Damn it! His body was again controlling him and he couldn't help it, it was like impossible to stop. He saw her violet eyes filled with tears and it saddened his heart to see her suffering like this.

Their faces seemed to inch closer without them knowing at all, there was this attraction it was impossible to deny. She could feel his breath now they were so close now. No, she couldn't let this happening that would mean helping him cheat on Terra. And as much as she hated her she couldn't do that, she wasn't that kind of person.

But the feel on his hand on her cold cheek made a warm feeling spread throughout her body it seemed like she was falling in love with him again. She wanted so much to just kiss him and forget about anything and everyone but she knew she couldn't. What she did could affect her and Beastboy in the worst ways possible.

Suddenly she felt their noses brush lightly against each other and his lips only a centimeter away.

Raven's mind seemed to suddenly click back and realization hit her hard. She opened her eyes and quickly pulled back ending whatever was going to happen right there. Beastboy saw her get up and he did too.

"Wait, Raven, I didn't mean to, I'm really sor--" he tried to say.

"I' need to go…" with that said she grabbed her cloak and put it on then she teleported and left him alone once again.

Beastboy sat back down and looked at the ocean. He ran a hand throw his forest green hair and let out a sigh.

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Terra burned with hatred her face red with anger at what she had just seen. She let out a scream and threw her lamp across her room letting it shatter against the wall. Her expression was wild she looked like she was going crazy. She ripped her curtains and pounding her pillows with such force that anyone would clearly know to keep away from the angry blonde.

She heard footsteps coming from the hallway and she quickly walked outside to see the girl she most despised.

"Raven!" she screamed her eyes looked like they were set on flames. Raven looked at her with shock and fear she had never seen Terra like this. "You slut!" she screamed then gave her a slap.

Raven was shocked at this. Did she just slap her? She wouldn't let Terra get away with this anymore. She returned the slap with such force that made Terra cry out in pain.

"You bitch!" she tried to slap her again but Raven had blocked it with her magic.

"Terra stop!"

"You're trying to take him away from me! You fucking almost kissed him!" Terra shouted with rage filled eyes. This made Raven burn with anger. What does she own him!

"You act like he's some sort of prize and you've won it!" Raven shouted in her face her voice filled hatred.

"News flash he is mine and you will never have him!" Terra shouted in return.

"I don't want him, you can keep him for all I care," Raven said but she knew she wanted Beastboy. She began to walk away when she felt Terra grab hold of her arm forcefully and pulled her back.

"I'm not finished with you!" she tried to hit Raven but she used her magic to block but Terra was persistent. She shoved her to the floor knocking them both to the ground. Terra was now on top of Raven and had grabbed a hold of Raven's neck and was choking her not caring if anyone caught her. Raven tried to push her off her but it seemed impossible. "He doesn't care for you, he doesn't love you, and he's only using you!" Terra shouted in her face with a grin filled with malice.

Raven tried to gasp for air; she felt like her lungs were going to explode.

"Terra---st—op!" she tried to say in between gasp.

"Not until you die," she whispered with hatred. This was it Raven thought, I'm going to die…

"Az—a—rath---"

"No!"

"Me---tri—on….."

"Shut up!"

"Zin---thos!" Terra was flung to the wall and she slid to the floor wincing in pain. Raven rubbed her neck gasping desperately for air then her raged filled eyes landed on Terra. Immediately she landed on her and began to choke her back. She wasn't going to let her get away with this.

Running footsteps were heard but no one was still seen. Terra grinned and had an evil idea that was sure to get Raven away from Beastboy, he would never trust her again.

"Help Raven's trying to kill me!" she screamed as her last breath. Raven looked at her with shocked. She was trying to turn this around! She was going to make them think she started the fight!

Starfire had flown to the commotion after hearing all the shouting but when she arrived there she was shocked. A gasp escaped the Tamaranian's lips at the sight. Robin had arrived that second and to saw what was happening, his masked eyes went wide in surprise.

"Hey guys wait up! What's happening?" Cyborg questioned as he ran towards the door but then stopped when he saw Raven and Terra,

"Why's everyone so---Raven?" Beastboy questioned as his eyes scanned what was before him. No, this can't be happening…

"Beastboy, I can explain!" Raven exclaimed as her hands left Terra's neck who was now gasping for air.

Beastboy only remained silent and looked away from her pleading violet eyes. He was turning away from her… She felt her eyes begin to fill with tears.

Robin walked up to them and pulled Raven away from Terra keeping her hands behind her. Robin was disappointed in Raven, he would never expect this from her. She wasn't one who started problems but the evidence was clear Raven was choking Terra.

Terra had wrapped her arms around Beastboy and had tears spilling from her eyes. She held onto him tight like he would protect her from anything. He only brushed her hair and hugged her back trying to sooth her cries.

"She tried to kill me!" Terra cried as she buried her face into Beastboy's chest. He looked at her with sympathy then looked up at Raven whose expression was filled with shock.

"...How could you do this…" h said and that was when Raven felt her heart break.

"I didn't! She attacked me first I was only defending myself!" Raven tried to explain her own tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What we saw was pretty clear," Cyborg said in a soft voice.

"But—I--" Raven tired to say but there was no use, they all thought she was guilty.

"Raven, I'm going to have to put you on punishment. Consider yourself lucky you aren't going to jail," Robin stated as his masked eyes stared at her, Raven only looked down. "You're goring to need time away from us…it's the only way we can insure Terra's and all our safety,"

"But Robin, I do not think—" Starfire tried to say but was interrupted by him.

"I'm sorry Star, but this is how it's supposed to be…" Starfire in response covered her face with her hands so they wouldn't see her tears. Robin felt bad, but he had to do this.

He clasped handcuffs on Raven's wrist and began to walk away with her. Raven looked at each face as she passed them. Cyborg, he's face was filled with disappointment. Starfire looked at her with tear filled eyes, so much for being there for her. Beastboy, he kept trying to calm Terra but then he looked up and stared into her violet eyes and saw her hurt. He couldn't face her anymore…

Raven felt a tear escape her eyes as she said these words. "I thought you would be there for me…"

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	8. Close Encounters

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 8. Close Encounters**

Those words hit him hard. _"I thought you would be there for me…". _That was a promise he made for her, assured her. He said he would be there for her, care for her, and ease her pain. But he broke that promise; he took it and tore it in half as if he didn't care. But the thing was, he did care. Raven was important to him no matter if he had a girlfriend or not.

He looked down at Terra and saw her still attached to him in his embrace. He could feel her chest go up and down as she cried into his chest. He looked at her with sadness and concern but he was also concerned about someone else; someone he had to apologize to. His mind was made up, he would see Raven tomorrow and hopefully no one would find out. He saw that Terra's cries had ceased.

Slowly he detached himself from Terra breaking the embrace. He saw Terra look at him with confusion as she wiped her tears away.

"Beastboy?" she said in a quiet voice. He only looked at her and let out a small sigh.

"Terra…" he began as he averted his gaze to floor. "I sorry about what happened…" he continued.

"No, you don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything. It was that witch…" she said with venom in her words. He heard that and couldn't help but feel anger.

"Don't call her that!" he shouted, his eyes flashed white and the beast eyes could be seen for a brief moment. But as fast as it was there it disappeared.

"Beastboy?" Terra asked with fear in her voice as she took a step back.

"I'm sorry Terra, I didn't know what I was thinking…I just, Raven…" he tried to explain. "She's my best friend and you're insulting her."

"But I have every right to call her that; she tried to kill me!" Terra exclaimed. She saw him stay quiet for a moment and look down.

"...But what if she was telling the truth…" he whispered to himself not wanting Terra to hear but she had.

"Are you doubting me?" she questioned.

"Look, I…have to do something…" he said trying to avoid another argument.

"What do you need to do?" she asked almost frantic as her blue eyes searched his green ones.

"I just need to be alone," with that said he left Terra by yourself in the hallway. Making sure he was already in his room she cursed so loudly.

"Shit!" she shouted now angry. Her plan worked Raven was away from them but Beastboy was falling harder for her! She couldn't let this happen she had to stop this no matter what. Terra was willing to do anything.

She smiled at the thought. Her new plan is going to be perfect! Raven won't be able to show her face for a long time so she can't interfere with what was to happen. This pleased her, now she could keep Beastboy all to herself. She knew deep inside her that she had to show him that she wanted him and loved him no matter what. With this in mind she made her way into her room and start part 2 of her plan.

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Robin had typed in the code and the steal doors swished opened revealing a small room. It had dark purple walls, a bed covered in blue sheets, a dresser with a big mirror, a door that led to a small bathroom, and a small window. Robin led Raven in and slowly dropped her stuff on the bed. Raven who had used her magic to carry her belongings let them fall to the ground not caring if they would break.

Robin hated to do this but it was obligatory. He had told the Titans when they formed that if anyone was to attack another team member they would be punished, possibly sentenced to jail if the case was way over the line. He knew Raven was supposed to go to jail but he couldn't will himself to leave her there. She was like a sister to him they were both so alike and understood each other. He felt he would betray his family if he put her in jail that's why he only sent her here. It was the only thing he could do. Starfire's tears had also affected his decisions. He loved Starfire and to hurt her again would hurt him too.

Raven stood still as silence drifted in the air. She then felt her wrists released from the handcuffs. She rubbed her wrists trying to get the weird feeling away that the handcuffs left. Now everything was tense, no one spoke all that could be heard was breathing, that is, until Robin spoke.

"Are you okay?" he asked staring at the back of her cloak. Raven let her head turn only midway enough for her to take a glance at him.

"Great…" she responded sarcastically then pulled her hood over so that her face would be covered.

"Look, I didn't want to do this…but I have to," he explained.

"I understand…" she spoke, still not looking at him.

"Can you tell me why you and Terra were fighting in the first place?" he questioned. Something inside him said Beastboy. But he didn't want to accuse her of anything; not yet. He saw her turn around.

"Nothing that mattered…" she responded. But she knew deep inside her that it did matter. She was going to kiss Beastboy and Terra had seen it. Terra had begun the fight with her but she couldn't tell Robin that it was because she was going to kiss Beastboy. That would ruin everything; she would wreck Beastboy's happiness with Terra if he found out about her love for him.

Almost as if reading her mind Robin said the next three words. "Is it Beastboy?" he asked now making her look up at him and her eyes flashed fear.

"No," she quickly responded, a little to quickly for him. "It has nothing to do with him, this was just between me and Terra."

"Exactly, what else would Terra fight over?" she looked up and her eyes showed irritation.

"Robin stop!" she shouted now frustrated. But he wouldn't stop he would get to the bottom of this.

"Something's going on and I'd like to know about it."

"Nothing is going on don't you understand!" her voice had begun to crack.

"Just tell me why you were fighting and I'll let you go. This can be resolved but you're being unreasonable," Robin stated as he looked into her violet eyes.

"You're the one being unreasonable!" she argued back.

"I'm giving you a chance Raven," he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. He could feel her tremble under his hand so he let go.

"I don't want that chance…" she spoke now her voice had grown softer. She turned away and stared at her bed.

"You can trust me," he said his voice had grown softer.

"I can't trust anyone anymore." She crossed her arms at her chest and didn't look at Robin.

"…I tried to give you a chance. But I guess you don't want it…" he turned away from her as well and walked to the door. After a moment he turned around to see Raven on her bed with her head hung low in misery; he hated doing this. He felt so bad but it had to be done.

Robin walked out and let the door close. Taking out a small round disk he planted it onto the door and an invisible force field was placed around the whole room. Not strength or force not even magic could break this down. Only he could go in because he knew the code. But Raven couldn't get out not until her punishment was over.

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Starfire had run into her room and cried there as she quickly scribbled down her thoughts and feelings into her diary. Her pen going back and forth with such force that it seemed like the paper would rip any minute.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today the worst has happened to Raven. Terra and Raven had tried to kill each other! Not only has this happened but also Robin has ordered for Raven to be put in punishment and it is not right! She should not be by herself when she has suffered so much! She does not deserve such treatment and I could not do anything to stop it. But this wasn't what had hurt Raven the most, what hurt her was that Beastboy had turned away from her. That is the worst feeling anyone could feel. I am angry with Beastboy and Terra for making her feel this way. She is my friend and she confided in me her love for Beastboy. And I promised not to tell anyone but I wish I could. He needs to know! He cannot go on without knowing…but I cannot… no matter how much I want to tell him. I cannot break a promise…_

_Starfire…_

As she closed the pink dairy a knock on her door was heard. She got up and wiped away her tears before opening it to see Robin and an expression filled with concern.

"Star," he began but she had turned away from him but wanting to hear his words. "Starfire I'm sorry but I had to do this, remember the rul—"

"That is the only thing that matters to you Robin! Rules!" she shouted at him causing Robin's eyes to widen in shock. He had never heard her like this. "What should matter to you most are your friends!"

"Starfire, my friends do matter to me. Why do you think I didn't put Raven in jail for attempted murder?" He questioned more like stated; his masked eyes staring deep at her. She only stared at him before breaking down in front of him.

"Please, leave," she whispered as she sat on her bed and covered her face.

Robin could only look at her as she let her pain escape through tears. He didn't want to hurt Starfire but he did… He should have known Starfire was going to be emotional, he should have known she would cry.

Against Starfire's wishes he didn't leave only closed the door and went by her side. Slowly he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his chest. Something he had never let her do before, causing Starfire to only cry harder and hold onto him. Robin could only think of holding her as well not sure what to do. Every time she cried she would usually ran so no one would see but now her she was crying in front of him.

"Starfire don't worry. She'll be okay I promise you that," he said as he looked into her emerald green eyes.

"Please keep your promise. I do not want anymore lies," Starfire said in a quiet but firm voice.

"No more lies…" he repeated what she said and thought in his mind that he was lying to himself about Starfire. He kept telling himself that he didn't love her but now it was impossible to deny this any longer. She said no more lies…

"Starfire?" he asked making her look at him.

"Yes," she said.

"I---…never mind…" he chickened out. _God I can't even tell her how much I love her!_ He shouted in his mind. Maybe the time wasn't right…maybe when everything was well and the drama was over, hopefully.

"No, tell me what you were going to say," she said as she got up and made her way to the door were he stood. She saw him look a little nervous but then his expression changed to the normal one he had.

"Just…don't worry about Raven, I'll make sure she's ok,"

"Very well, I thank you for being here…" she said her voice had grown timid. Robin smiled at her.

"It's no problem, I'll always be here for you," he said honestly. She smiled back at him and watched him leave.

She prayed that he would keep his promise there was already many liars in this tower. She hoped he would be there for her no matter what. She lay onto her bed and tried to block all bad memories and try to sleep hoping that tomorrow would be a better day...

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**New Day (Finally)- Morning**

Beastboy couldn't sleep all night; his mind kept going back to Raven and what happened outside when they were talking, then the fight between Terra and her and then his argument with Terra. This was too much for him, to many problems for him to deal with.

He got out of bed and took a towel with him planning to go to take a shower and rinse away his problems. He turned the knob and warm water rushed out making it seem like rain. He got in and felt the water splash on him warming his cold body. Thoughts kept returning into his mind as he washed his green hair. Raven, Terra, there was so many problems to deal with. First off his girlfriend was mad at him then his best friend gets put on punishment and was disappointed in him. What, wasn't he good enough! He kept failing on people, kept disappointing everyone. He hated that feeling but he never had so much attention before now it seemed like overnight he had gained so much attention and problems.

He rinsed the shampoo off his hair and the soap of his body. He turned off the knob and the water stopped falling. He quickly grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist and used another small towel to dry his hair. Beastboy looked at his hair in the mirror and saw that his hair had reached his eyes, he made grab for the gel he bought for his own not Robin's. He made a style nothing like Robin's though that was his do.

Beastboy opened the door and walked out, he felt like he had done something like this well at least someone else. That's when he remembered when Raven walked out of the shower and he was standing outside. He let out a sigh and made his way into his room.

He typed in the code and walked in but someone was already there sitting on his bed. The door closed behind him making him snap back to reality.

"Terra?" he questioned in surprise. He saw her get up with a smile plastered on her face. He saw her approach him and felt a little nervous. "What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to visit you. What can't I visit my own boyfriend?" she asked with confusion in her crystal blue eyes.

"No, it's not that. I'm just surprised to see you here," he said he then felt her hand land on his chest and her face a couple inches away from him.

"Don't be to surprised…" she said in a light whisper. Was that seduction in her voice?

That's when he suddenly felt her lips come in contact with his and began to kiss him. He couldn't help it he kissed her back. It was just the state they were in that made him want to kiss her. But they were a couple so it was all right. But why did he feel like he was betraying someone…

Terra had her fingers run down his chest feeling his chest that he had worked on for the past long months. Slowly her fingers made way to his towel when she suddenly felt him break apart from her a little to soon then she wanted.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she looked into his green eyes.

"I just can't go too far with you, it doesn't feel right. Not know," he explained. He saw a little disappointment in her expression but it vanished replaced by a smile.

"I understand," she then gave him one last kiss letting him have a taste of her one last time. "I'll see you later," with that she left his room.

Beastboy sat on his bed and let out a breath. Whoa, he never had done something like this with Terra. And what freaked him out was that she was willing to go further but he couldn't do that with her, it didn't seem right. But he couldn't help but feel himself wanting to kiss her more.

"Teenage hormones…" he told himself to excuse his weird behavior.

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Cyborg was at the kitchen making his usual breakfast. Bacon and eggs with real milk and real waffles. Robin was seated at the table reading the newspaper his masked eyes giving full attention to the section that stated the villains were still locked up. Starfire sat across from him looking down at her plate of food that Cyborg served her. She wasn't hungry actually she was still thinking about what Robin said to her last night. This caused her to look up at him but his face was buried behind the newspaper. She gave a sigh and went back to playing with her food. Robin looked up at the sound of her voice and saw that she looked depressed.

"What's wrong Starfire?"

"I am, just thinking…" she responded then she got up and threw away the food causing Cyborg to wild out.

"Hey! That was fine bacon right there!" he exclaimed. Starfire didn't real care she made her way to the couch and turned on the TV trying to keep her mind off of Robin and Raven. Robin stared after her as she walked by him. Cyborg saw the sad expression on her face then looked back at his leader.

"Something wrong with her?" Cyborg questioned. Robin took a moment to answer back.

"I think she's still sad about what happened yesterday…" he replied putting down the newspaper.

"Yeah, I've never seen her this depressed before. She's always usually happy," Cyborg commented as he looked at her watch TV.

"…I'm starting to think putting Raven on punishment was a bad idea," Robin said now turning back to him.

"No, it isn't. I mean I don't want Raven all by herself. But after that fight who knows what else they'll do if they see each other again," Cyborg stated.

"You're right…I don't want to leave her there too but I have no choice."

"I just hope the drama is over," Cyborg commented.

"Likewise, but something tells me it isn't over yet," Robin said but just as he said this, the doors flung open.

Terra then walked into the room with a smile on her face. "Good morning!" she announced a little to cheerful.

"Like I said…" Robin stated then got up and went to sit by Starfire.

"What's for breakfast?" Terra asked Cyborg as she sat at the table.

"Um let's see, bacon, bacon, oh and look more bacon!" he exclaimed with a small smile.

"I'll have some," Terra said with a giggle.

Starfire had an irritated glare on her face at the sound of that giggle. _No, I must not show my anger, not know…_

"Terra how was your morning?" Starfire questioned.

"Great!"

"Why is this day better than the others, if I may ask?" Starfire asked. Robin wished there wouldn't be another fight. He grabbed Starfire's hand entwining their fingers together. She looked at him in surprise but he only looked back at her with this expression that told her everything.

"Let's just say I had a little morning treat…" Terra responded with a grin.

"…That is…wonderful…" Starfire said through forced words. Robin only gripped tighter.

"We need to talk…" Robin whispered into her ear. "I'll meet you on the roof tonight…" he then left the living room towards his own room.

The living room doors opened once more revealing Beastboy. He gave his good mornings but didn't receive a very friendly welcome from Starfire.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked her confused. She only stared at him then walked away giving him a glare. Beastboy looked at Terra and also noticed her confused expression.

"What's with her attitude?" Terra questioned.

"She's mad and depressed," Cyborg informed them.

"Why?" Terra asked.

"It's probably because of--" Beastboy stopped abruptly, his expression changed to one of concern; the remembrance of Raven flashed before his eyes. "I need to go…" he began to walk away when Terra spoke again.

"Wait, were are you going?" Terra asked now suspicious.

"Outside," He lied but in reality he was going to see Raven. He didn't want Terra to know because then she would be angry with him and more problems would occur. He just needed to make sure that Raven was all right. So he left the Tower and sat near the ocean where he and Raven sat before the whole fight. He remembered her face the look she gave him when he held her hand.

Beastboy decided to sit there until night arrived…that's when he would see Raven…

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	9. Saying Sorry

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 9. Saying Sorry**

**Night- **

Night had arrived and Beastboy made plans to go see Raven. He just had to get there without being seen. He crept out of his room in his pajamas that consisted of shorts and a white wife beater, quietly walking down the hallways when metallic footsteps were heard. Immediately he changed form to one of a green spider and ran to the wall trying to keep hidden in the shadows. As he looked on he saw spiky hair in the shadows.

Robin.

He saw him walk up the flight of stairs heading to the roof. He was out of view now Beastboy could make a run for it. But then again he was interrupted by bright green light. Once again he transformed into a green spider and waited. _How many people are going to be awake tonight! _He shouted to himself in his mind. Starfire had come into view; she too was in her nightwear; pink shorts and a white tank top. But on top she wore a pink robe tied at her waist.

Starfire had now left going up the flight of stairs toward the roof. She was going to meet Robin there after he told her he wanted to talk. So with that in mind she opened the door to the roof and saw him standing with his back to her. Quietly she approached him and almost as if he sensed her presence he turned around.

"Robin…"

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He was now safely in the elevator and he let out a long breath he had been holding in.

"That was too close," he told himself. He felt the elevator start to slow down and then halt to a stop. "Must be the last floor," the last floor was at the bottom of the tower away from all the other rooms. He looked around once more before approaching the door.

That's when he saw that the door would only open if he knew the code. "What is the code!" he shouted to himself in annoyance. He began to randomly type in words, "…Batman…Starfire! That has to be it!…no!"

Nothing was working…come one Beastboy think what would Robin put as the code. "Well I already tried Starfire…I got it!" he quickly typed in two words and the doors opened. He smiled he just had to think like Robin to know it.

He quietly walked in but everything was dark inside, the lights were off and he could faintly see a figure sleeping on the bed. Slowly he got closer and saw Raven sleeping. This was the first time he saw her face look calm and peaceful. It seemed like for the first time everything was okay and all the drama had ended. He saw her long violet hair sprawled on the pillow and a few strands of hair on her pale face.

This was the first time he had actually looked at Raven without her turning away. He felt something inside him leap making a smile spread across his face. He couldn't deny what was next to appear in his mind. Raven was beautiful…it wasn't that he didn't know it already. I mean Terra was cute, Starfire was pretty, and Raven was beautiful. That's what he thought but suddenly he felt himself click back to realization. Beautiful! What is he thinking? I mean he can't deny that but Raven was his best friend!

He heard her groan in her sleep and her body began to move. He felt this wasn't a good time to be here. He took a few steps back then turned around and tried to quietly walk away when he heard his name.

"Beastboy?" Raven asked her voice soft and her eyes half open. Her eyes then fully opened and she saw it was Beastboy. "What are you doing here!" she panicked. She reached for her purple robe and tied it to her waist and stepped out of bed.

"Raven, I just couldn't help but come down here," he said as he approached her.

"But your not supposed to be here!" she exclaimed. The light in her room had turned on and now everything was visible. "I don't want anymore problems. You need to leave, if Terra finds out—"

"But she won't," he interrupted her. "Look I just wanted to say sorry, for what I said…I was stupid I know it hurt you and I'm really sorry…" he apologized. Beastboy was now in front of her and she could see genuineness in his emerald green eyes.

"…Look…I know you don't mean that…so just leave me alone," it hurt her to say that but she had too. She wanted all these problems to stop, she wanted to forget about him and live in peace.

"I do," he said firmly and he did mean it.

"Stop lying to me I'm tired of it!" she shouted.

"I do mean it believe it or not!" he argued back. Raven only stared at him with annoyed filled eyes.

"Well I for one don't believe it," she said coldly, her violet eyes stared deep at him with anger.

"What happened to you?" he exclaimed. She had totally changed to him. First she was quiet then depressed now angry.

Raven heard him shout that question and inside she felt herself scream _You happened to me! _But she couldn't say that he wouldn't understand; he'd want an explanation, which led to her love for him.

"Raven, you've changed…" he said softly, he took a step closer and she only took a step back. "Don't walk away from me," he said sadly. Raven only looked away, she felt like crying but she didn't want show weakness. She didn't want him to see that he made her feel this way. Besides wasn't he the one that went on Terra's side and broke his promise to her.

"You promised me…you said you'd be there for me…" she said as her violet eyes glazed over. She saw him look back into her eyes.

"I am here aren't I?" he asked.

"What about yesterday? Did you think I would forget?" she questioned her voice ringing louder.

"What do you expect me to say? You were choking my girlfriend, Raven!" he exclaimed.

"You didn't believe me!" she shouted back. "You believed her!"

"I believed what I saw…"

Raven was sick of it. She wasn't about to breakdown in front of him not after what he's down.

"You've changed too," she whispered. "Now get out, I don't want you here anymore!" she shouted her eyes threatening to let tears fall.

"I'm not going; I came here for you! I care about you yet you still can't get it through your head!" he exclaimed.

"It's _you _that can't get it through your head that I don't want to ever see you again!" she spat back. Their faces were so close as they argued. This seemed like another one of their little fights they had when they were younger. They were just trying to hide their true feelings. "You said you would be there for me! You said you'd be there no matter what…you promised me…and you betrayed me…you broke your promise…" she started at a scream and slowing went into a whisper.

"…I know you want me to stay…" he said.

"No I don't I want you to go and leave me alone!" she shouted back.

"Don't lie to yourself Raven because I can see it in your eyes…" he said and it was true does violet eyes showed him everything.

"Don't," she said in agony.

"Raven…I came here because I care for you and I still do…I want to be here for you…"

"No you don't…please stop hurting me…" she whispered. Pain dripped in her words her face should so much sorrow. He felt bad for doing this but he wanted to show her that he was there for her and that she shouldn't push him away. He saw her look away and wrap her arms around her body. He took a step forward and softly took her chin and turned her face so that she was now looking into his eyes.

Beastboy stared into Raven's violet eyes as she stared back into his emerald green eyes. There was a silence between all you could hear was breathing. But then he saw something fall from the corner of Raven's eyes making its way down her pale cheek to her lips almost as if that was the button of activation for him he immediately took her in his arms letting her cry into his chest as he embraced her not wanting to let go of her fragile body.

It ripped his heart apart to see her like this so vulnerable and miserable. He hated himself for causing this much pain. He felt like the only thing he could do was hold her like this and try to make her feel better let her know he cared so much for her.

Raven couldn't help but give in to his embrace his warm strong arms protecting her from anything that wanted to cause her hurt. She always dreamed of this but not in this situation. Though she was embarrassed to be like this pressed up to his chest and feeling his own arms wrap around her she couldn't help but want it. She loved him so much and to have him hold her like this was what she always wished for.

"I'm sorry I hurt you…I was stupid! I don't want to lose your friendship…please forgive me," he said while still embracing her. Raven let her eyes look down for a moment then she looked up at him and saw that he was waiting for her reply.

"Beastboy…I…"

"Please Raven…" he repeated. There was a brief silent before she spoke again.

"…I… forgive you…" she whispered and closed her eyes. Raven then felt fingers slowly wipe away her tears. She had to admit she loved it when he did that, it felt as if he could wipe away her pain.

"You know I love you, right?" he asked as his eyes searched hers. This made Raven's eyes go wide, did she hear right?

"You love me?" she asked disbelievingly. No, he has to be lying! I mean, he can't, no…

"Of course, you're my best friend," he replied. That's when it hit her…he loved her as a best friend it was just strong friendship not romantic feelings. She was so stupid to believe he loved her for real! She hated herself at this moment she couldn't help but let more tears fall. She was beautifully broken…

"Don't cry …" he said softly and hugged her tighter. "Remember I'm your best friend…" he reminded her and only held her tighter. But he didn't know that inside the love he had for Raven wasn't only friendship… Time could only make him realize and hopefully when it wasn't too late…

"You need to go, now… I can't let you stay here any longer…" she said softly and detached herself from him, she could feel his disappointment.

"…I'll be back… I promise you that…" he said honestly as his emerald green eyes searched her beautiful violet ones.

"Don't promise things you won't keep…" she whispered and looked away from him.

"I swear on all that I love that I will keep this promise. I'll see you tomorrow morning," he took one last look at her and left her room leaving her alone once more. She instantly dropped on her bed and choked on her own tears. She tried to stop taking in deep breaths but this was the hardest thing she had to do. He said he loved her but it wasn't the love she wanted… and now she had to face him again tomorrow…

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Robin stared into her eyes at the sound of his name. He could sense her nervousness and worry radiating off her. He could see the fear and curiosity in her beautiful emerald eyes. He took a step closer to her and watched her stand still.

"…Robin…you are mad at me, yes?" she questioned with fear.

"Never, I just need to talk to you. Come here," Starfire walked up to him and she felt him take hold of her hand, she once again felt her heart leap at this.

"What is it you want to talk about?"

"This morning, with Terra…"

"Please do not tell me what I think you are going to say."

"Starfire, I don't want you in any trouble. Raven is already in problems because of her actions and I don't want you to follow in her footsteps," he explained. He could see her eyes narrow at this comment.

"I am not following in no one's footsteps, I am doing as I please!" she retorted with attitude.

"Starfire…"

"She is the one that needs to be punished not Raven!"

"We have no proof that Terra attacked her first," he commented but Starfire couldn't that for an answer.

"Raven's words should be proof enough for you Robin."

"Starfire, I know you believe Raven, and I do too. We just can't do anything right now… don't worry…she's okay. I checked her this afternoon and she was fine," he assured her.

"Does she have all the necessities she needs? Water, food—"

"Yes everything. I swear that nothing bad will happen to her, you have my word," Robin said with honesty. He then felt her leap onto him and hug him with all her willpower.

"Thank you Robin, you do not know how much this means to me!" she exclaimed with happiness; her green eyes glistening with so much positive emotions.

"Of course I do. Your friendship with Raven has grown since that talk you had with her."

"Yes…we share a connection, we have the same feelings and emotions towards people and problems. We have much in common and she has confided in me greatly and for that I will always value her friendship," she said and he felt her let go of him. He saw her eyes become sad almost as if they had their own expression.

"She's lucky to have you as a friend," he said with a smile and saw her smile back with a light blush.

"I am lucky to have her as a friend too, but I am also lucky to have you as a friend," she gave him a sweet smile.

"Best friend," he corrected with a small laugh.

"Best friends," they hugged once more and for a moment he felt like he was holding the hold world in his hands. Because Starfire was his world…

"Promise me you won't get into trouble," Robin whispered into her ear.

"…I promise…" she whispered back and then let go of him. Starfire at that moment did a daring thing; she gave him a kiss on the cheek then walked away leaving him to stand there in absolute shock. He reached up to his cheek and gently brushed the spot where she left her sweet kiss.

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	10. You Should Smile More

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 10. You Should Smile More**

**1 Month later-**

Beastboy said he would come see her and he always did. Despite the many times she would tell him to leave and forget her he would still return. Over the days Raven let down her shouts and were replacing with smiles. Raven knew in her heart that she wanted him to stay there with her to comfort her. And he was always there; she couldn't hide her happiness for too long.

Every night he would walk inside and see her reading, sleeping, and sometimes crying…but that's when he would hold her and ask her why she felt that way. But Raven would always say that it didn't matter. He, however kept asking and as always never getting a correct answer.

He himself had grown attached to her and sometimes he would ignore Terra. Only thinking about what he would say to Raven when they met. Terra had tried to continue her plan but it seemed like Beastboy was never in the mood to kiss or do anything else that she would want to do… But she knew that once she kissed him he would give in. Sometimes though he would pull away shortening the kiss. This aggravated her so much, but she had to keep cool. She didn't want him to leave her.

Terra couldn't hide that she was angry and jealousy. But she couldn't understand why he was always wondering off to nowhere or leaving the Tower at night. Every time she would go into his room he wouldn't be there and this got her suspicious…but why should she? Raven was locked in and no one could go in right?

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**Night-**

Raven lay on her side on the bed; her back was facing the door and her face was placed softly on the pillow. Her violet eyes were still open put held tiredness in them. She was dressed in her silk purple night wear, she lay there remembering all those nights he would see her and their conversations. She thought she couldn't love him anymore but she was wrong…her love for him grew stronger everyday…

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes but just as she did she heard the door open and the sound of the voice she loved.

"Raven?"

She sat up and looked over at Beastboy who approached her and then sat on her bed. She didn't mind that at all he had been doing that for days now.

"Sorry I woke you up," he began with a nervous laugh.

"No, I didn't fall asleep yet," she said and watched him let out a sigh. "But I wouldn't to, so can you go away," she finished in a rude manner, making him frown. "Kidding," she said and saw him smile.

"You got me," he laughed and all she could do was let a small smile grace her features.

"You're not the only one who can joke around," she smirked. Beastboy couldn't help but love her smile, when she was happy he was too. He managed to get her to open up more to him than ever before. "How's everyone?" she asked.

Beastboy let his back rest on the pillows she had and let his legs lay on her bed. He held an expression of thought. "Well…Robin and Starfire have been up to their usually flirting," he stated with a laugh.

"Well, that's new…" Raven said sarcastically. "Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay Okay, I got it! You know how Cyborg's always complaining that he needs to find a girl, right? Anyway--" he was getting excited.

"Who would have guessed," she said sarcastically earning another frown from him.

"Do you always have to do that?" he questioned as he looked over at her.

"Sorry… old habits die hard…"

"Naw, it doesn't matter I'm used to it," he explained and give her a smile. "Anyway I'm beginning to think Cyborg is meeting someone…" he started.

"Meeting someone as in?" she asked waiting for his reply.

"Dating. I'm not sure though…sometimes he just vanishes from the Tower and comes back looking like he just came out of a spa," he continued as he recalled the expression Cyborg had.

"It could be Bumblebee…" Raven said simply as she stared straight ahead; she heard silence from him for a moment.

"You're right! Wow you're smart!" he exclaimed as he jumped off the bed with a large smile. "Finally I figured it out!" he saw her glare at him. "With a little help from you of course…"

"You can't be sure though…" she stated she reached for her robe and tied it on then stepped out of bed and went to the bookcase that Robin let her have. "You shouldn't mess with his love life… if he's happy…let him be…" she said her voice had grown softer.

She placed the book back and stood still, her back was facing him. Beastboy could sense that something was wrong with her but he was afraid to ask. Well, he wasn't afraid but every time he would ask she would say it was nothing or just ignore the question. She never talked about her emotions she preferred to keep them to herself.

"I have a feeling that you're not telling me something…" he said and watched her turn around. Her expression remained emotionless.

"Nothing that you don't know…" she said. "Just things you haven't figured out…" she walked to the small window and could see the dark night sky, the bright moon shining white illuminating the ocean.

"I can never understand what you're saying," he admitted and stood next to her. She stayed quiet for a moment.

"I can't even understand myself," she said softly as she tucked a strand of violet hair behind her ear and let out a sigh. "Has Robin said anything yet?"

"Yes… he said you were on good behavior and he's considering letting you out earlier…that is if you wouldn't cause problems with…Terra…" he explained. She saw him stay silent after speaking her name.

"What happened?" she suddenly questioned. Beastboy looked at her with confusion.

"What do you mean what happened?" he asked.

"I can sense your distress…you're having problems with Terra, aren't you?" she asked.

"…I don't know if I should talk to you about it though…" he said now turning away from the window and sitting on the bed. Raven sat next to him.

"…You don't have to, I respect your decision."

"Thanks…maybe I'll tell you some other time…I still haven't figured out some certain things," he explained. "But let's talk about happier things…like Starfire and Robin,"

"Did he ask her out yet?" Raven questioned.

"Not yet."

"Figured…"

"Doesn't have the guts…"

"To busy with his work…"

"Afraid of commitment," they both said at the same time. Beastboy laughed and Raven gave a small smile. That's when he looked directly into her violet eyes.

"You should smile more…" he suddenly said causing her smile to vanish and to turn away. "I just screwed up didn't I?"

"No…"

"Come on Rae, I like it when you smile," he said looking at her face.

"Beastboy…"

"Smile…" he said in a singsong tone. God, did he still have to be so immature. But then again his humor and happiness is one the things that made her love him.

"No…"

"Come on, you can do it. Just turn that frown upside down," he said with a grin.

"Do you have to joke now?"

"To cheesy, huh?"

"…Yes…"

"That's cold…"

"What do you expect from me?"

"A smile…"

"Beastboy…"

"It won't hurt I promise!"

"You're so stubborn!" she exclaimed and glared at him.

"Then I'll do it for you," he grinned then placed his fingers next to the end of her lips and tried to 'turn that frown upside down'. Raven felt herself burn inside, she wanted to smile but it was already embarrassing enough.

"Beastboy!" she shouted and tried to push him away. Raven could see his grin leave and his hands drop.

"Sorry…" he said regretfully. She suddenly felt bad for yelling at him. "I shouldn't have forced you into anything you didn't want to do." he knew he shouldn't have done it but he just wanted her feel happy and smile. He couldn't help but like her smile, not that it meant anything right? It was normal for best friends to like each other's smiles. These weird feelings he has are probably about something else.

He felt confused for sure, first he comforts Raven, then thinks she's beautiful, starts ignoring Terra, now finds her smile pretty. He felt inside something burn when he saw her face every time. He could feel joy when he held her in his arms; inhale her lavender perfume, when she would smile even if she tried to stop it. He was bewildered and he knew it but he just thought things would work out and hopefully go back to normal but deep inside something him didn't want it to go back to normal. As he was lost in his thoughts he finally heard her speak.

"No…I'm sorry. I just don't feel comfortable right now…" she responded. He looked up and saw her unsure violet eyes.

"Rae, I'm your best friend no need to feel embarrassed," he explained she only stayed quiet.

"You should go now…" she suddenly said.

"Why now? We were having a great conversation! Why do you---" he felt her hand cover his mouth and his look showed alarm. She looked straight at him and whispered.

"Don't talk…" the room was filled with silence. The sound of metal shoes could be heard as it came closer and closer to the door. Her eyes went wide with fear. "It's Robin!" she said in a rushed whisper. She saw his emerald green eyes look afraid. She took her hand away from his mouth.

"Shot! What if he sees me?" he exclaimed with fear. Raven looked around the room.

"You have to hide."

"Where?" he asked.

"Anywhere!" she shouted. Beastboy jumped off the bed and then heard the door begin to swish open. Quickly he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Raven covered herself with the sheets and pretended to be asleep. Now silence was present.

Robin walked in and checked the room and then saw Raven asleep. He stayed quiet for a moment before placing a tray with dinner on her dresser. He was content with what he found, he smiled then left and the door closed shut.

Raven opened her violet eyes and waited a moment before moving out of the bed. "You can come out now…" she whispered.

Beastboy walked out with an expression filled with relief. "That was too close."

"This can't go on anymore. If you get caught you'll be in trouble and then…Terra will get mad…then more problems will happen…" she continued the list before he interrupted.

"She won't know, don't worry," he assured her.

"You can't be too sure…"

"If she ever does find out. I won't care because she can't tell me what to do or who to talk to," he explained.

"I don't want to cause you problems," Raven said now facing him.

"You're not. You're actually helping me with them. You have way good advice," he said with a smile. Raven loved it when he was happy and his smile warmed her heart.

"But now you have to go…" she stated.

Beastboy sighed then looked at her dresser and saw the tray of food. "Aren't you going to eat that?" he questioned then picked up the plate of pasta.

"I'm not hungry," she said. "I do want my herbal tea though…"

"I'll bring it tomorrow!" he suggested, his emerald green eyes lit up. Raven knew she shouldn't let him but her need for herbal tea was too much for her to go on with. Also the fact that he would do something for her was…sweet.

"All right but don't let anyone see you or the herbal tea," she knew it would raise suspicions and that she didn't want.

"Don't worry I'll be careful," he then gave her a goodbye hug that she loved. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds before they broke apart. "See you tomorrow," he said before reaching the door and then leaving.

Raven couldn't help but let a smile show. Even if he didn't love her in the romantic way he still loved her in the friendship way and that was enough for her. But deep inside Love wanted more but she was slowly recovering. Knowledge never told Raven for fear that she would think she would be okay, but Knowledge didn't know if Love could go back to her critical state. Hopefully she will not. But with Raven's emotions it was always a mystery…

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	11. Heart Attack

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance **

**Chapter 11. Heart Attack**

Morning- 

Beastboy had just gotten out of the shower and was making his way to the kitchen. When he arrived he found it empty and silent. Perfect. If no one was there then he could make herbal tea for Raven.

After setting a pot of water to boil he reached into the cabinet to take out a little packet to put in the tea. He opened it up and let it settle in the water making it change color and taste. Now he was making himself some breakfast for his stomach had growled. He took out the soymilk and began to drink it out of the carton. It didn't matter anyway; no one would drink it but him.

Minutes later the pot let out a whistle signifying that the herbal tea was ready. Steam rose as he poured it into a mug. He smiled glad to know that he was helping Raven in some way at least. Suddenly a hand clamped onto his back making him froze and his eyes widen.

"What are you doing Beastboy?" the deep voice questioned. Beastboy stayed silent for a moment before slowing turning around to face the person that caught him in action.

"Cyborg?"

"Why are you making herbal tea?" Cyborg asked in confusion as he stared at the tea with an eyebrow raised.

"I-I-I wanted to…drink, some?" he said in an almost question. He swallowed the lump in his throat as sweat formed on his forehead.

"Very funny, tell me what's really going on," Cyborg stated then crossed his arms and waiting expectedly for the answer.

"What? Can't I have herbal tea?" Beastboy asked slightly annoyed.

"You hate that stuff!" the metal Titan exclaimed.

"I never said that!" Beastboy exclaimed back.

"Drink it."

"What?" Beastboy asked surprised.

"Let's see you drink it if you love it so much."

"I never said I loved it!"

"But you said you didn't hate it." Cyborg countered with a grin. Beastboy looked at him with anger before taking the cup in his hands then taking a sip. For a moment it was all right, his expression didn't show disgust. Suddenly the taste kicked in, it was horrible! At that moment he spit it out wetting Cyborg's feet.

"Oh gross!" Cyborg screamed as he shook his foot to get the liquid off.

"Uh…delicious?" Beastboy said with hope.

"Spill," the metal Titan said with determination. Beastboy looked at him with confusion.

"You want me to spit it out again?"

"NO! I MEAN SPILL AS IN TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE HIDING!" Cyborg shrieked almost blowing Beastboy into the air.

"I'm not hiding anything." he simply said.

"Sure, and I'm all human…" Cyborg said sarcastically. "Come one BB, I'm one of your best friends you can trust me."

"…Promise you won't tell anyone…" Beastboy said hesitantly.

"You're not cheating on Terra are you?" Cyborg questioned eyeing him.

"No!" he exclaimed

"Okay, Okay, Sorry for jumping into conclusions," he said.

"You better be sorry," Beastboy pissed off that his on friend would think that.

"Well…"

"I don't know…"

"You can't back out now…I think I have an idea who that herbal tea is for…"

Beastboy looked nervous now, crap! Cyborg probably thinks it's for Raven. Then he'll go tell Robin and then Raven will stay in there longer and they would make sure he doesn't visit her anymore. No! He didn't want that he would miss her so much. There would be an empty hole in his life and heart. Raven was his best friend and she held a special place in his heart no matter what happened or what anyone said.

"It's Raven isn't it?" Cyborg questioned. His face expression softened.

"Who'd you guess?"

"Well, the herbal tea kinda gave it away."

"Heh, yeah…" he said with a forced laugh as he ran a hand through his forest green hair.

"Look, I figured you would want to keep this a secret, am I right?" he asked.

"That would be great."

"And I will keep it a secret. I have nothing against it," Cyborg explained. This made Beastboy expression turn to one of happiness.

"Dude! Thank you so much. It means a lot to me!" his emerald green eyes lit up.

"No problem, you know I think you're the right person for Raven to talk to," Cyborg continued. "But…" oh no, what was with that 'but'. Something was wrong… "I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret."

"Regret? What do you mean regret?" Beastboy questioned.

"Just be careful. I mean if Terra finds out you're meeting Raven she'll freak out. Who knows what they'll do next time they see each other."

"Dude, no worries, I'll be careful. Anyway I gotta take this to her. Later…" Beastboy got up and refilled the mug.

"Later…"

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Beastboy was still thinking over what Cyborg had said. _Don't do anything you'll regret…_what does he mean by that? Nothing wrong was going on at all. So they hugged but it was a friendly hug or was there more?

He chased the thoughts out of his mind and made his way to the elevator. He pressed the button and the door opened; inside he saw Starfire and Robin kissing passionately; it was like they were going to die if they parted. Talk about tension…a particular tension…

"Dude!" He said grossed out. Robin went red and he quickly pressed the button so that the door would close again. "Dude! I needed to use the elevator!" he yelled.

Now he had to wait once more, he couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Robin's red cheeks. It was funny but finally Robin and Starfire were together that's what mattered the most. Now he had some happy news for Raven, he was sure this would lighten her mood.

The elevator doors opened once more and he saw no one in there. He let out a sigh and stepped being careful with the mug of herbal tea. The elevator stopped eventually and he made his way to the room.

"Okay time for the code, **Beautiful Star**," he laughed at the code. Robin was so in love with Starfire and that just gave the code away.

He walked in again but Raven was asleep again. He just smiled and walked up to her bed; he placed the herbal tea on the dresser. She was sleeping peacefully and didn't seem to know he was there. He felt he should let her sleep. So quietly he made his way over to the bookcase that had caught his attention.

A book stuck out, it had a purple cover and a raven drawn on it. Curiosity struck him so he opened it up and saw that it was a different kind of book. It had poems in it that seemed to be hand written. He skimmed through them and they were really well written, some were sad, others anger, while some were happy. It was full of emotion. He came across one that read "Under My Skin". It caught his attention so he settled down on the bed and began to read out loud.

"Under My Skin… the feeling of pain that flows through me is unbearable, the thought that he loves another is my own hell, when he's with her he forgets about me and I can't help but feel terrible, she took his love and---" he was interrupted by a scream.

"No, don't read that!" Raven shouted with fear in her violet eyes. He looked up only to see Raven snatch the book from his hands blushing like never before.

Beastboy couldn't help but smile at her embarrassment. 'She's beautiful…' once again his mind betrayed him. 'No! Dude she's your best friend, besides you have Terra!'. He shook the thoughts out of his head.

"Rae, you're up!" he greeted her than gave her a hug. He could feel she was a little tense. "Don't worry about before, it's all in the past," he assured her.

"Uh…yeah…look I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's just that the book you read is personal…"

"You wrote it didn't you?" he asked looking into her violet eyes.

"How could you tell?"

"Well the raven on the front cover said it all," he explained with smile.

"You didn't read it all did you?" she questioned nervous. If he read it she wouldn't show her face ever again.

"Just skimmed through them, but then I started reading "Under My Skin", that's when you got up and freaked," he said with a laugh. "Actually, you have good writing skills…I'm just curious…but who was it about?" he questioned. Wait; was he jealous? This was new… he just wanted to know who it was about he wasn't jealous! That's absurd! Ha… sure…

"Uh… someone you don't know," she made up her lie. She hated lying, this just added to all those little white lies she told. One day it would come back to haunt her.

"Raven, you rarely some out of your room, how would it be someone we hadn't meet before?" Beastboy said with an eyebrow raised. Raven began to panic a little.

"Okay, it was about Malchior," she lied again.

"Malchior didn't love anyone else," Beastboy said shooting down another lie.

"Just, let it go!" Raven quickly shouted. He looked at her with confusion for a moment before leaving he alone about it.

"Sorry…anyway I have great news!" Beastboy said with a smile. "Get this, I found Robin and Starfire making out in the elevator!" he announced laughing already. Raven couldn't help but smile.

"Really?" she asked. Was this for real…wasn't Robin afraid of commitment?

"Totally, they were going at it like maniacs!"

"That's…nice to know." she said sarcastically. She got a very disturbing image.

"It was hilarious! I was coming down here so I press the button to open the elevator, suddenly I see Robin and Starfire all over each other!" he exclaimed holding his side from laughing too hard. "And then! He saw me and went all red then closed the elevator doors. Gosh, that was funny!" Beastboy began to wipe tears from his eyes.

Raven let out a small laugh; it was humorous to just imagine Robin blushing mad. The fact that Beastboy was dieing with laughter didn't help her keep quiet.

"Dude! You laughed!" he exclaimed and jumped up doing one of his little dances. Raven glared at him. "Sorry, just excited! Hopefully you'll laugh more," he said with a smile, his emerald green eyes glistening with happiness.

"This is a once in a life time thing, Beastboy," she stated.

"Awe, I screw everything up! First the smile thing now the laugh," he said to himself annoyed.

"It's not your fault…I'm just not the expressive kind…"

"Yes you can be expressive. You've cried in front of me many times. That's expressive Rae," he reminded her and saw her turn away closing her eyes.

"I couldn't control myself those times…I was having emotional breakdowns. It's a miracle that I didn't kill anyone…"

"Of course you won't. Remember Trigon is gone forever, you can show emotion now…"

"I know but I'm not used to doing it. All those times I cried I couldn't control them. Now that I can feel there's no guard up to hold me from letting out my emotions," she explained with a sigh. Raven opened her eyes at the feeling of his arm around her shoulder holding her close to him. She let him comfort him and buried into his embrace.

"It's hard to believe that years ago I couldn't even look at you without you snapping at me…" He said with a small laugh.

"Things have changed…" she reminded him.

"Yeah…now here I am hugging you. Having your trust, and friendship. It's great to now that we became closer now…you know?" he whispered. Slowly he let her go. "Remember yesterday, when I was talking to you about Terra…" he said quietly.

Raven stayed silent for a moment. "Yes…" somehow she knew where this was going.

"Well, I trust you completely so I'm going to tell you what's wrong, maybe you can help me. Lately I've been feeling very confused…" he explained. Raven nodded and turned to his direction to listen better.

"Tell me."

"Terra, she's been acting different lately. Before everything was great, but now it seems like she's trying too hard. Before when she kissed me, it felt right, you know?"

"Actually, no, I don't…" Raven responded. She hated having to hear about them kissing it was tearing her apart she could feel the burn. But she had to be strong…

"Maybe I should stop…" Beastboy said rather hesitant.

"No, it's all right I want to help you."

"…Okay. Terra, well, now she's, how can I put it…she tries to do uhh…" he felt himself redden in the cheeks. Raven looked at him confused and he noticed a bit of fear.

"She's trying to…get me to do more then kissing with her…" he saw Raven look away. "Sorry, see this is why I didn't want to tell you yesterday," he was then interrupted.

"It's fine, it's understandable for Terra to want that with you. She's your girlfriend… and you are eighteen. You're an adult now."

"Yeah, but, the thing is, I don't want to do that with her. Any other guy would agree and go along with it but not me…"

"You're different, Beastboy. All I can tell you is to tell Terra how you're feeling…" she said then closed her eyes once more trying desperately to hold in tears of pain.

"I just don't want to hurt her feelings. She really loves me and I-I love her too, but I--" he was about to say more but after those words Raven felt her heart tear apart with pain. She winced but held in her pain. This caught his attention.

He still loves her! _He loves Terra!_ She heard her emotions scream in her mind.

She hated herself so much right now. "Raven?" Beastboy questioned looking nervous. "Are you okay!" he was now frantic. "What's happening!"

Raven could feel her tears flow down her cheeks. She was gasping for air, this was new to her; she had never felt immense pain before. Her whole body was collapsing under the pressure. Beastboy didn't know what to do he began to carry her but she stopped.

"No! This—will—pass," she said through pain.

"I have to take you to the hospital I can't leave you like this!" he exclaimed. Fear was evident in his eyes.

"No! Please, promise me you won't tell anyone about this!" she shouted. Her face showed anguish as he held her close.

"But—"

"Promise me!" she cried in agony, her tears staining his uniform.

"…Fine…" he said but inside he didn't want to say fine, far from it actually. But he had to, Raven asked him too. But he would find a way to help her… that he promised himself.

Beastboy held her close to him, rocking her back and forth trying to ease her pain and whispering in her ear that everything was going to be fine. Slowly her pain began to subside…he felt her body stop shaking and soon relax. He looked down to see her asleep in his arms. Slowly he laid her down on her bed and covered her in the sheets.

He stayed silent and looked at her for a moment. She was finally at peace away from the pain. He hated feeling useless to her, he couldn't help her the only thing he could offer was comfort and care. He wondered what had happened minutes ago, was she having some sort of attack?

Beastboy sighed then kneeled down beside her bed; pushing aside strands of hair that were placed on her pale face. He didn't know what came over him but at that moment he suddenly found himself giving Raven a light kiss on her forehead. He saw her stir for a moment then become still again.

He walked towards the doors but then stopped abruptly. He looked back at Raven and his expression changed to one of concern. "I never knew how much pain you went through…" he whispered before leaving her in the darkness…

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**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	12. Nightmares

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Rated T for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Chapter 12. Nightmares**

**Night-**

It was midnight and Beastboy was asleep but it wasn't a peaceful dream he was having it was the opposite. He tossed and turned and muttered in his sleep; his body sweating, tears running down his cheeks.

**Nightmare-**

_He could see Raven in his arms as she cried into his shirt. He could feel her fear and his own as well. Her hand then held his check her cold fingers touching him, her lips parting so her words would be heard. Her violet eyes looking deep into his emerald green eyes._

"_Beastboy…I need to tell you something…something I should have said years ago…" she strained to say through pain. "Before I die, you need to know I can't take this secret with me…" she whispered as tears flowed down her cheeks._

"_No, you're not going to die Raven! You're going to live I swear!" Beastboy assured her. His voice was filled with panic; as much as he said that she would live there was no sure answer…_

"_I can feel it coming Beastboy, I need you to know before I go," she whispered slowly. She was losing too much blood at a quick pace._

_Beside him he could her cries and shouts; car's honking and drivers screaming to get out of the way._

"_Robin, man I don't think she's going to make it!" a familiar voice shouted._

"_Keep driving, I don't care if you have to pass over the cars, just get to the hospital!" Robin screamed. He looked back at Starfire who was crying her eyes out and having a nervous breakdown. "Star, don't cry. I promise Raven will be okay," he tried to assure her, his expression holding sorrow for his girlfriend._

"_You can't leave me Raven!" Beastboy shouted now frantic her eyes were slowly beginning to close._

"_I want you to know…that even after all that's happen, you'll be my one and only best friend… but you also need to know, my secret,"_

"_No, Raven, don't say anything you need to save your energy…" Beastboy stated his eyes held fear._

"_Beastboy…I love you…forever…" her last words were a delicate whisper. Her hand dropped from his cheek on her abdomen her eyes closed and her heart stopped. A cold silence filled the air…_

"_Raven?…Raven!" he screamed then held her body close to him and cried into her hair. "No… don't leave me…Raven…"_

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Suddenly Beastboy shoot up from his bed his eyes wide with fear and dry tears on his cheek. His body sweaty profusely, he was panting try to take in air after that nightmare.

"Raven…" was all he could say.

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Raven awoke with a start as well sweaty and panting with tears in her eyes. This nightmare had scared her for life.

"Beastboy…" was all she could say.

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**Next Morning- **

Beastboy didn't feel like getting up from bed and facing his friends after that horrifying nightmare. He felt scared and depressed his friends would surely see that and ask what was wrong with him. He didn't want to tell them it was about Raven because then they would grow suspicions.

On the other hand if he stayed in his room they would come knocking on his door. Almost as if on cue someone knocked on his door.

"Beastboy? Dude, are you up?" Cyborg questioned.

"Now I am," Beastboy mumbled back than opened the door. Cyborg could see his bloodshot eyes from crying, he looked bad, really bad.

"Man! What happened to you?" the metal Titan exclaimed.

"Bad dream."

"How bad?"

"Let's just say I'll never be able to sleep peacefully again," Beastboy said.

"Dang! That bad? What did you dream about?" he asked curiously.

"I rather not talk about it…" Beastboy replied then closed his door leaving Cyborg confused.

"Uh…well, I'll see you downstairs, okay?" he said. Cyborg received a mumble of 'sure' from his friend. With a sigh he left towards the kitchen where his friends awaited him.

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Robin was talking with Starfire as they both together made breakfast for the team. They were finally going out, in the midst of all the drama these two found happiness in each other. They hoped it would stay that way forever.

"Robin?" Starfire said as she mixed the batter for pancakes. "Do you think this is right?" she questioned her emerald eyes looking doubtful. Robin looked at the batter.

"Yeah, you're doing well, that's how it's supposed to look like," Robin informed her with a smile.

"No, Robin, I am talking about…us," she said now looking at him. Robin looked at her with confusion.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, absolutely nothing, you are wonderful Robin and you know I love you, but…"

"But?" he asked dreading what was to come. Did Starfire not want to be with him? What was wrong? Was she going to breakup with him?

"I do not know if this is right. There has been much problems occurring at the Tower and much drama. Somehow we got together and I do not regret it at all. But what will our friends think? They might think I do not care about them, and I do especially Raven. She will think I forgot her and only thought about myself. And it is not true because I—" she was stopped by Robin.

"Star, it's okay for us to be together. I'm sure all of our friends will not think of you as selfish. Star, you're far from it, you care for everyone. I know they'll accept us and be happy for us. Actually this morning Cyborg congratulated me and said it was about time. I'm sure Beastboy will do the same, I have no doubt," Robin explained, happy to see her relax.

"I do hope so, I don't want to leave you…" she said with sadness, her emerald eyes glistening.

"I wont leave you too," he then gave her gentle kiss that showed his love for her. They broke the kiss and Starfire wrapped her arms around him as he rested his chin on her shoulder softly brushing her long red hair.

"Aww! Look at the cute couple!" a voice erupted throughout the kitchen making the two hero's blush.

"I told you," Robin whispered in Starfire's ear seeing a smile across her face.

"You truly think we are a 'cute' couple?" Starfire questioned Cyborg.

"Damn sure, did you guys see Terra anywhere?"

"No, I don't think she's up yet…actually I haven't seen her a lot these past weeks…" Robin announced now in deep thought.

"Oh God, please don't let this be Raven part two issue!" Cyborg exclaimed. Just then Terra entered the kitchen.

"Don't worry it wont be," Terra said crossing her arms looking at Cyborg somewhat mad.

"I've been wondering, where have you been going these past weeks?" Robin asked as he looked at her curiously.

"That would be filed under the category of 'None of your business'," she replied then observed Robin who held Starfire's hand.

"Finally!" she exclaimed. "I was beginning to think that Robin might not like since he was so chicken," Terra stated with a different attitude this morning.

"What's wrong with you?" Robin questioned annoyed.

"Nothing!" she put on a fake smile then went up to Starfire and gave her a hug and whispered 'Congrat's in her ear. But then said 'Hope it last…' making Starfire look at her in shock. She was about to attack when Robin held her back.

"Starfire you promised me!" Robin shouted holding her waist so she couldn't move any further. Terra looked surprised and took a step back.

"Was it something I said?" she asked but obviously knew what she had said only Robin and Cyborg didn't hear it.

Starfire tore from Robin's grasp and ran to her room in tears. Robin ran after her calling her name. Cyborg looked at Terra a little afraid…maybe he should leave the obviously pissed off blonde.

"Umm, you know I kinda had something to do…with the T-car yeah! So, err bye!" he fled the room.

"Argh!" Terra screamed smashing a glass cup with her bare fingers. She didn't care if they bleed she was too angry to even notice. "Bloody bastard!" she screamed her eyes showed fury as the remembrance of the events the night before flashed before her.

Flashback- 

"_So are you going to help me or not?" Terra questioned crossing her arms and looked at his masked eyes._

"_That depends…what's in it for me?" he asked with a grin._

"_The fact that you helped a girl in need," Terra replied meaning herself. The masked man just let out a laugh then walked out of the shadows revealing who he was._

"_Red X, helps only himself…" he stated. The blonde looked at him for a moment debating for a moment._

"_Fine, name your price…"_

"_Money off course how much are you willing to offer?"_

"…_How much do you want?" she asked aggravated with his games._

"_10,000 dollars…"_

"_10,000 dollars!" She shrieked making him come forth and clamped her mouth shut with his hand._

"_Shh… you don't us to get caught, do you?" Red X questioned before letting her go._

"_That's too much money!" she exclaimed. Where was she going to get that much money? What did she have to do rob a bank?_

"_That's not my problem, I'm actually letting you off easy. I usually charge double the amount," he stated as he absentmindedly checked his weapons on his belt._

"_But where do you expect me to find that much money?" she shouted with wide eyes._

"_That's not my problem, I don't know, rob a bank? Get a loan? You're a Titan this should be easy for you."_

"_You know what, I'll just get some other person to this job for me!" she began to walk away when his voice stopped her._

"_Sure, I bet every other cracked up villain can disappear in mid air and be as cunning as me, huh?" he asked with a smirk. "I'm sure they'll gladly accept to help a Titan!" he said sarcastically. "Baby, you're luck with them is as low as the dirt under my shoes."_

"…_Fine, I'll get the money but you better get the job done or I swear I will hurt you and won't ever regret it!" Terra shouted in his face._

"_Feisty… I like you," he said with a grin and watched her scowl at him. "But the money isn't all I want…" he stated then pulled up her chin with his fingers so that her blue eyes stared into his own. "I want you too…"_

"_Never!" she shouted and stepped hard on his foot making him let go of her and jump on one foot._

"_God damn, woman!" he shouted with pain._

"_Serves you right!" she began to walk away from the alley._

"_You'll come back… I know you will…" he said as he watched her leave. Terra gave him the finger and all she could hear was Red X laughing._

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"The messed up thing is that he's right…" Terra told herself. She knew he was right; no one was as good as him. He could get the job done easily, but was she willing to pay the price? "If he guarantees I won't ever see Raven's ugly face, then I will…" she was sacrificing herself but she didn't care. If it meant having Beastboy then she would do anything to keep him…anything…

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Robin was trying to calm down Starfire who was having a nervous breakdown. "Starfire, you need to call down!" he said holding her arms as she squirmed, trying to pull away from him.

"No! I cannot calm down!" Starfire cried her tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Starfire, please, for me?"

"Do not ever leave me!" she cried then embraced him crying into his chest.

"Never…you'll be with me forever…" Robin promised and embraced his girlfriend trying to sooth her cries.

Beastboy had gotten out of his room and caught sight of Robin hugging Starfire close to him. He felt grief instantly when he heard Starfire sniffling. At least she had Robin to comfort her. Beastboy sent a sorrow filled expression toward Robin who nodded and mouthed that she was going to be all right.

The green Titan then went on his way toward the kitchen to get some breakfast. Little did he now that his girlfriend was the one causing all the chaos this morning. The doors swished open and that's when he heard crying from the kitchen. He got closer curious when he saw that it was Terra how was bandaging her hand.

"Terra!" he exclaimed surprised as he witnessed this.

"Beastboy, please, help me," she pleaded. He walked up to her and helped her bandage her cut up hand. After this was done he sat her down at the table and talked with her.

"Terra, what's happening?" he questioned. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

"I'm fine…"

"Don't lie to me…"

"Say you love me," Terra suddenly stated looking into his emerald green eyes.

"Wh-What?"

"Say. You. Love. Me." she repeated getting angry. Her tears flowed down her cheeks. This girl needed emotional help, she had become obsessed with Beastboy and there was no stopping her.

"Terra…"

"Say it! Just say it!" she screamed now on her feet and crying wildly. Beastboy quickly wrapped her in his arms and said I love you. But Terra new it wasn't from the heart, it was pity that he felt for her. But she didn't care as long as she heard those words from him. She was broken inside and she loved him so much and knowing that Raven had stole his heart pained her. Once Raven was gone she would have him all to herself and there was no stopping her. She would make Beastboy forget his love for Raven.

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**Night-**

Terra stepped out of the elevator that night with a grin plastered on her face. She knew it all along; she knew Beastboy was seeing Raven. She wasn't stupid; this time she would make Raven suffer. Who ever said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words won't ever hurt me' must have been drunk. Words hurt as much as stones, sometimes even worse and Raven would experience this…

After checking that Beastboy was nowhere in sight she knocked on Raven's door. Inside the Azarathean awoke slowly from the entire racket. "Beastboy?" she said thinking it was he.

"No, it's your worst nightmare," Terra said sending chills done Raven's spine.

"Leave me alone!" Raven shouted back.

"Not until I tell you this…Beastboy loves me and nothing you can do or say will change his mind. He told me he only feels pity for you, he doesn't care for you. It's pathetic how you rely on him when he doesn't even give a damn about you!"

"No, he does care for me, stop lying!"

"I'm not lying Raven, you're lying to yourself. He told me this morning that he loved me! Get it through your head; he loves me! Not you!"

Pure silence. Terra grinned at this, her work her was done.

"I'll talk to you another night…you better not tell Beastboy or I promise you he'll never come back…" she whispered

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**Bet you weren't expecting that! Lol.**

**Much Love. Peace. Review**

**RaventhePortal**


	13. Save Me

**A/N: Thanks for reviews!**

**Prepare for major fluffiness! And the T-rated thing kicks in once more!**

**Rated T for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Chapter 13. Save me**

Raven couldn't take it anymore she wished she could just rip the door open and slap Terra right in the face. She hated this prison she was held in. She felt like she was going crazy. She forgot how it was to be outside, how it felt, how it was to feel freedom. All she could feel was pain.

Terra's words had hit her hard. It was like receiving a slap and it hurt especially if you got it from your worst enemy. She couldn't help but let tears spill when Terra had told her things she didn't want to hear.

**Flashback-**

"_Not until I tell you this…Beastboy loves me and nothing you can do or say will change his mind. He told me he only feels pity for you, he doesn't care for you. It's pathetic how you rely on him when he doesn't even give a shit about you!"_

"_No, he does care for me, stop lying!"_

"_I'm not lying Raven, you're lying to yourself. He told me this morning that he loved me! Get it through your head; he loves me! Not you!"_

Her violet eyes began to water once more she hated crying it was a sign of weakness and she hated being weak. But it hurt to know that Beastboy still loved Terra.

No, he doesn't feel pity for here right? No! He said she was his best friend! He said he loved her! Even if it was only in a friendship way, he still cared for her. She couldn't let Terra's fake words break her down.

Her pale fingers went up to her violet eyes and wiped the last tears she would ever cry at least she hoped they were.

It was still night and the hour of midnight coming close. She sat on her bed her head in her hands, her eyes closed, her breathing steady. She could still remember that horrid nightmare she had. The pain she felt was almost real. It felt like a stab to her body, she felt like she was losing something, she felt like something was being taken away from her.

All she could remember was laying in the backset of the T-car. Beastboy by her side with a worried look and Starfire by him crying tears from her emerald eyes. She could remember the pain in her lower abdomen like somehow had stabbed her there. She could remember hearing voices in the background almost unclear. Robin's voice screaming at Cyborg something she couldn't make out. Cyborg cursing loudly and Starfire sobbing like there was no end. And then she could remember her conversation with Beastboy.

She remembered the last words she was saying…

**Nightmare-**

"_Beastboy…I love you…forever…" her last words were a delicate whisper. Her hand dropped from his cheek on her abdomen her eyes closed and her heart stopped. A cold silence filled the air…_

"_Raven?…Raven!" he screamed then held her body close to him and cried into her hair. "No… don't leave me…Raven…"_

She could feel herself begin to let tears flow. Her shoulders now heaving up and down as she tried to control her sobs. She couldn't believe she had confessed her true love to him, only for it to end like that. Dead and empty.

"Why can't I ever live in peace? Why do I always have to suffer! What did I do to deserve this pain!" she shouted at herself. She was now looking at her reflection in the mirror as if she was having an argument with herself.

"It's all because of your stupid love for Beastboy!" she continued to yell at herself. Her face expression showed anger her eyes narrowed in hatred, tears falling off her chin and falling onto her hand.

She closed her eyes for a moment trying to keep her breathing steady and when she opened them again someone stood behind her in the mirror. Beastboy.

She whirled around to see him look concerned, worry and fear making up his expression. He just stood there silent then looked down his face changing to one of sadness. Raven couldn't say anything to him, she couldn't talk, she couldn't breath.

Here was the man that brought so much pain to her. Here was the man that made her suffer more than life itself. Yet he was the one her heart loved and desired. It was him that was making her die a slow and painful death.

"Raven…" he managed to say in a quiet voice his emerald green eyes now looking into her almost dead violet ones. She looked at him, her anger had left moments ago and was now replaced by a different emotion, sorrow.

"Please Beastboy, I don't want to talk to you…" she said and turned away form him so that he could only see her back. She wanted so much for him to leave and forget she ever existed. But then the other part of her wanted him to stay and show her love. But she knew that would never happen, not in this lifetime.

"Ra—"

"Leave."

"But I need to talk to you," he said now taking a step towards her. Raven could feel him coming closer and she couldn't will herself to more away.

"Beastboy, I need you to forget me, this is my decision. I can't go on like this," she whispered.

"What do you mean you can't go on like this?" he questioned and that was the moment that she turned around so quickly it made him step back and almost fall.

"This!" she shouted at him pointing to her tears that she despised. He looked at her with shock he had never seen her cry with such anger. "You did this to me!" she screamed at him taking a step forward to him and all he could do was stand still in shock. "You brought me so much pain! You made me suffer! You caused me my tears!" she cried.

He was speechless. All he could do was stare at her. Raven, the girl who was supposed to be strong was breaking down harder than ever before. That's when her words hit him. He caused her tears?

"I caused your tears?" he said before he could stop himself. Raven came closer to him pure fury on her beautiful features.

"Yes! It was you! Only you!" she shouted. She felt herself going crazy. But she felt she had to say it before she went officially crazy… before she died. She needed to pour out her true feelings to him whether he wanted to hear it or not. Whether he accepted it or not.

"Raven, I never hurt you!" he heard himself exclaim.

"Yes, you did, and more than you will ever know!" she continued to accuse. Her violet eyes looking deep into his confused green ones. "You broke me! You ripped me apart and you didn't even know it!"

"Raven, stop telling lies!" he shouted now taking a step closer to her. What was she taking about? He didn't break her? It was the complete opposite! He helped her, he embraced her, wiped her tears way. Did she forget all about of that?

"I'm not telling lies! I'm tired of lying to myself and to you!" she said. They were now a couple inches apart their faces dangerously close as they shouted in this heat of anger.

"Did you forget all those times I showed you care? Did you forget all those times I wiped your tears away!" he shouted at her. His hands were now gripping her shoulders almost shaking her. How could she say he made her suffer!

"No! And that's exactly what made me suffer!" she spat back. She couldn't believe they were arguing but this was meant to happen…somehow…

A cold silence drifted between them, only their heavy breathing was heard. Their body's only inches apart, their lips only inches apart. Her eyes bore into his and his stared deep into her own.

Suddenly without warning their lips collided against each other. A shock spread throughout both their bodies at this touch. Before she knew it their lips were moving together in a passionate kiss almost desperate for one another. Raven's arms had wrapped around his neck and his around her back bringing her close to his body.

She couldn't believe what was happening. Beastboy and her were kissing. And it wasn't some innocent kiss. It was a passionate one. Almost as if all they were holding inside had escaped in that kiss. But that's when she realized he didn't love her. He was probably only feeling passion and lust not love. This caused her eyes to let tears fall.

Raven then pushed him away and slapped him very hard. He looked at her with shock. Did she just slap him? God that hurt!

"Don't kiss me if you don't mean it!" she shouted. "Don't use me, I don't want to feel that again…" she trailed off. She wasn't going to let her dignity go. She knew he loved Terra and that kiss was only in the heat of the moment. He only looked at her as a best friend not someone he could truly love.

"No, Raven it wasn't like that. I'm not going to use you," he tried to say hoping she would accept it. Because it was true…

"Don't lie to me!" she shouted. "Don't you understand!" her voice cracking as she spoke due to her trying to keep in her cries. She paused and looked deep into his eyes almost as if daring him to speak. But he didn't.

Raven sat on her bed and turned away from him, not wanting to see him anymore. She closed her eyes and whispered. "I love you…" before she could stop herself, they had already come out. Now what was going to happen? He probably hated her right now.

Beastboy's eyes widened at her words. He had heard them no matter how softly she said them he had heard them. Raven love him? His best friend! … Yet he couldn't deny something inside him.

"Get out," he heard her say. But he didn't leave; no, instead he stepped closer.

Raven could feel his presence still in the room making her angry. She turned around "I said—" She trailed off his face was right in front of hers. She was still she couldn't move.

Beastboy placed a hand on her cheek and wiped the last tear to ever fall away. His emerald green eyes looking deep into her violet ones. "…I love you too…" his voice was low and soft.

Raven couldn't believe it. Did she hear right? Did he say, "I love you"? Did he mean it?

"You don't mean that…" she whispered her breath tickling his lips.

"I do," he whispered back, truthfully. She looked at him for a moment.

"Prove it…" she said. And he did that.

He caught her lips in a kiss making her heart jump. Deep inside she felt her heart was healing… was this kiss the kiss that saved her? Was it because they both meant what they said? It was because they both loved each other. True love. Not friendship anymore…

She felt him kiss her lips and she kissed back with love. Her arms encircled his neck and soon she felt her body being lowered onto the bed; her long violet hair pooled around her making her look more beautiful. He kissed her cheek trailing gentle kisses down her neck making her sigh. His lips found hers once more and they continued to show their affection. Her fingers laced in his hair as she kissed him, their lips moving together not so innocent anymore.

Soon their kisses turned passionate and they both knew what was going to happen. This thought sent shivers down Raven's spine. She loved him enough to let this continue. He loved her and it was all that mattered. Slowly her pain was going away making her feel bliss and free. Her emotions had finally got out. No longer were they under her skin. She knew his touch was what could save her.

Raven opened her violet eyes and stared into his emerald green eyes. She lovingly cupped his face with her hands and spoke softly. "Save me…" And he did.

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**Bet you weren't expecting that! Lol. More will be explained next chapter. Currently being edited.**

**Much Love. Peace. Review!**

**RaventhePortal**


	14. Unfaithful

**A/N: Thanks for so many reviews! (is dancing with happiness) Sorry for the long wait! (is very sorry) I had finals to deal with and other things. I have a life besides fan fiction you know.**

**T-rated thing kicks in once more! I'm keeping it PG-13!**

**Rated T for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Chapter 14. Unfaithful**

**Next Morning-**

Raven tossed and turned in her sleep words murmuring from her lips. Her forehead showing sweat present and her heart racing fast. Images flashed through her mind making her cringe in guilt and suddenly a scream escaped her lips making her sit up and start panting with fear. Her eyes were wide, her hands trembling, her lips were dry.

She sat there with the sheets pushed against her skin. She wasn't sure if she had a dream or nightmare… it wasn't like her other nightmares where she saw that she would die. No, this was different it wasn't exactly bad but not good as well. All she knew was that Beastboy had been unfaithful with Terra and she was in the middle of it. The image still fresh in her mind, he was kissing her and she was kissing back. Words said that she wasn't sure if they were true or not.

She bit her lip and couldn't believe the dream she had about her and Beastboy. She wasn't one who had such… dreams that involved skin on skin. But she couldn't help but think that she loved it and that it felt so real. But then guilt would wash over her every time she thought of that. Unfaithful… he had been unfaithful to Terra and she was the one who caused it.

No matter how much anger they had towards each other. Raven would never wish that on her. She knew Terra loved Beastboy so much and would do anything for him. Sometimes even go over the limit to keep him, only Raven did not know that…

"No…" she whispered. "I need more sleep, these dreams aren't making me think clearly…"

Raven lay back down but couldn't help but feel coldness wash over her skin. She felt bare for some reason. Suddenly she could hear light breathing next to her. With confusion she looked to her side only to see Beastboy sleeping there. She couldn't help but let out a scream. Suddenly as if her memory came back images flashed through her mind and voices echoed in her head.

Beastboy heard the scream and woke with a start. "Wh- what! Happened!" the sheets fell revealing his shirtless chest. His eyes caught sight of Raven who looked at him with fearful eyes.

"Beastboy!" she said.

"Raven!" so he didn't dream it!

Raven felt her eyes close, her mind go blank, and her body go weak. She fell back onto the bed with eyes closed. She had fainted…

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She felt like she was in a dream or rather a memory. She could feel someone kiss her lips and she kissing back with the same amount of passion. She could feel him trail kisses down her neck making her sigh as her hands set on his shoulders.

Shocks spreading throughout her body once his lips found hers once more. Her fingers ran through his hair as he kissed her. Her lips opening letting them take the kiss to the next level.

Who would have known two simple words, "Save me," could have such meaning to them. Two words that brought them closer then ever before. So close that she could feel his skin on hers. Love, passion, and fear. All those emotions present within her as they kissed.

Just as her mind was showing her the feeling of the straps of her nightgown falling down she heard someone shout her name in a frantic and worried voice. She felt a cold towel on her forehead and a breeze sweep over her face. Slowly her eyes began to open only to stare straight into green eyes.

"Raven!" he shouted slowly sitting her up. The Azarathean rubbed her head still feeling dizzy.

"Beastboy? This is real?" she asked, deep within her fear was present once again.

She saw him sigh and look down for a moment then back up. Raven could see that he was dressed in his shirt and shorts again and her as well. She rather not question how she had gotten her clothes back on.

"Very real…" he responded now looking into her violet eyes. "Raven… I thought it was dream…"

"You weren't the only one to think that…" she whispered. Suddenly as if hit by realization she looked up and stared at him with shock. "We…" she couldn't say the word.

"Slept together," he said. He could see her turn away tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Is that all it meant to you?" she questioned now looking back at him.

She saw him get up off the bed and looked down at her. "Raven… I told you I thought it was all a dream. When you said you loved me and—"

"That you loved me back…"

"…"

"Is it the truth?"

"…" he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. She got off the bed too and was now facing him looking straight at him.

"Is it the truth?" she asked.

"Raven I-"

"Just answer me. Is it the truth?" he looked into her eyes.

"…I… don't know…" suddenly he felt a hand slap his cheek making him cringe in pain.

"Then why did you sleep with me?" Raven screamed now totally breaking down. He tried to wipe her tears away but she shouted. "Don't touch me!"

"Raven, you have to understand I-"

"You what? Thought it was a dream?" she demanded. "Well I thought it was a dream too! But do you hear me denying what I felt for you?"

"You love me?"

"More then you will ever know. But now things have gone bad to worse! You sleep with me for no reason other then to fulfill your desires!"

"I wasn't looking to fulfill my desires!"

"Then why did you sleep with me?"

"Because… you asked me too…"

"What?"

"Don't you remember? You said—"

"Save me…" she interrupted. He stayed quiet… "So you don't love me… you just said it because I said it. I was so stupid!"

"Raven, I'm just confused you're my best friend and Terra's my girlfriend but I slept with you! This is all going wrong. This wasn't supposed to happen, we were supposed to be friends, best friends!" he sat back down on the bed his hands covering her face as he let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry Raven, I really am I never meant to hurt you… I never meant to be unfaithful to Terra…"

No matter how much she loved Beastboy, she couldn't help but feel hatred towards him. He used her; she hated feeling used. She had already gone through that with Malchior she thought he loved her but she was a fool to think that. And now Beastboy has done the same thing.

Her violet eyes stared into his green eyes and that's when she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Get out!" she screamed with tears.

"Rae—" Beastboy tried to say now with fear.

"Leave, just leave, forget about me! Forget about whatever happened!" she shouted no facing him.

"No you don't mean that."

"I meant ever word I said. I hate how I foolishly fell in love with you! You used me! I never want to see you again!" she pushed him against the door her hands grasping his arms. "Read my lips…" he looked down at those lips he once kissed. "Go back to her and forget about me. Whatever happened between us is erased forever. It didn't even exist."

"No! I can't just forget you, you're my best friend!" he exclaimed.

"Then we are friends no more."

He stared at her for a moment trying to read her eyes. Reluctantly he gave up. He could feel her grip on him leave; he turned away from her.

He took one last look at her almost as if hoping she would be smiling and telling him she was just playing around with him. But he still saw her violet eyes filled with hurt and anger at the same time. So with that he left the room…

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**1 month later-**

"Now that everyone is present I can finally give the announcement," Robin said looking around the table where all the Titans sat but one.

"You and Starfire getting married?" Cyborg said with a grin. Robin blushed then looked angrily at him.

"No! This is about something else."

"Okay, calm down lovebird!" the grinning Titan said with a small laugh. "I'm just playing around… ain't that right BB… Beastboy? Yo! Hello!" Cyborg shouted waving a hand in front of his face.

Beastboy looked like he was in another world unaware of what was happening at this moment. Terra looked at him with worry and turned to face him. "Beastboy? Are you all right?" she asked.

Beastboy and Terra had finally worked over their problems and were now in a better relationship. Yet Terra still had doubt deep within her. Although Beastboy had told her that he loved her and that he was just feeling confused about things she still wasn't convinced. Beastboy's attitude today wasn't proving his point…

"Beastboy!" Starfire shouted getting his attention.

"Huh? What!" he said coming back to earth.

"Welcome to the real world," Cyborg said with a smirk.

"I'm sorry guys… I'm just thinking…"

"You've been doing much of that…" Terra said looking down.

"I just have a lot of things on my mind," and he was right. Raven. It haunted him in his sleep in his dreams in his life. He felt like he couldn't breathe or think without her image running through his mind. Her voice whispering in his ear reminding him of their many moments together and all they had gone through…

"_You have Terra…what do you care…"_

"_Don't touch me…"_

"_It's not that…but, thank you for saving me."_

"_A fever? I don't think so I feel perfectly fine…"_

"_What do you care."_

"_I thought you would be there for me…"_

"_Stop lying to me I'm tired of it!"_

_You've changed too," she whispered. "Now get out, I don't want you here anymore!"_

"_Leave me alone!"_

"_No you don't…please stop hurting me…"_

"_You love me?"_

"_I can't even understand myself."_

"_I can sense your distress…you're having problems with Terra, aren't you?"_

"_No, don't read that!"_

"_Things have changed…"_

"_No! Please, promise me you won't tell anyone about this!"_

"_Yes! It was you! Only you!"_

"_I love you…"_

"_Prove it…" _

"_Save me…" _

He remembered their night together… her voice whispering into his ear, her kisses, her touch. It was driving him wild! All these secrets he had to keep all this fucking drama! He hated it!

"Beastboy!" now it was Terra who spoke up.

"God, I'm sorry, Robin just tell us what you were going to say before I zone out again!" Beastboy exclaimed.

"All right, now you guys know about what happened two months ago…" Terra looked down at her nails, Starfire turned away, Cyborg stared straight ahead, and Beastboy closed his eyes.

"Friend Raven… will she be out soon?" Starfire questioned with hope in her beautiful emerald eyes.

"Actually that is what I was going to talk to you guys about… and too Terra…" everyone looked at the blonde who stared back quiet.

"What about Raven?" she asked.

"Well, I think she has paid her punishment. She can be back here with us… but I want all of your approvals first."

"I want her here," Starfire said.

"Same here, I miss my lil sis," Cyborg agreed.

Robin nodded at both at them then looked at the couple that sat next to each other. "Terra… Beastboy…"

Terra stayed quiet for a moment feeling the tension in the air, with a small sigh she spoke up. "Fine, but I'm telling you this right now Robin. If she ever, ever! Hurts me again, then I swear I will not hold back!" she shouted looking directly into his mask.

"Believe me she won't hurt you, and you won't hurt her," Robin stared back at her seeing her stay quiet then sit back down. "Beastboy?" he looked at his fellow team member.

Beastboy stayed quiet while memories of Raven ran through his mind. "When will she be let out?…" he asked quietly.

"Today."

"…Okay… I'll be in my room…" he got up and started to walk out when Starfire's voice made him stop.

"You do not wish to greet Raven?"

"No…"

"But, you are the best of friends. Surely you would—"

"I said no," with that, he left the living room leaving everyone quiet.

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**That Night-**

"You ready Raven?" Robin asked carrying on of the boxes she had brought with her last time.

"Yeah," Raven used her magic to levitate her other belongings and made her way to the door where Robin stood. She looked back at the room where many things have happened. Many memories that will be kept there forever. She closed her eyes then opened them again and turned to Robin and uttered two words. "Let's go..."

They had finally put all her stuff back and she once again laid in her bed the one that was in her room. She couldn't help but let a small smile escape her lips. She finally felt more secure and more peaceful. At that moment she started to meditate now that she wanted to experience the calm serenity again.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos," her lips formed her mantra making peace wash over her. But as she meditated she could see memories. She cringed trying to block them out. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos," she said a little louder as if that could make those painful memories disappear. But it didn't it seemed to be getting worse. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" she shouted loudly her eyes turned white and her cape blew as if there was a breeze in the room.

She screamed her mantra once again suddenly white light seemed to pour out of her body; her hair blew in the air from the invisible breeze. Her face showed stress she felt her mind go blank and her body fell down on her bed.

That's when the excruciating pain arrived. "What's happening!" Raven couldn't help but say.

Raven tried to get up but the pain was so horrible she fell back down to her knees. She needed help right now or else the inevitable would come. She had to resort to crawling on the floor through agonizing pain. Within minutes she reached her door when it swished open for her she felt hope within her but it vanished when she saw the dark hallway without a soul in sight.

"This is meant to be…" she whispered to herself before she let her body fall and faint.

Seconds later a figure was walking down the hallway when suddenly she caught sight of body on the floor. Quickly she ran to the person who lay on the floor and her eyes went wide with fear.

"Raven!" Starfire screamed.

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**This story has been edited. So you can go back to see some minor changes. I just corrected my grammar, spelling, and some scenes. **

**Don't you love my famous twist! There's always drama before the ending. Red X is not forgotten; I just have other plans for him. And yes Raven is back with the Titans prepare for major BBxRae angst. (thinks of things she will do to BB and Rae)**

**Next chapter will show days passing by and fluff and angsty scenes!**

**Review! Or shall I make you waittwo months again?**

**Much Love. Peace. Review!**

**RaventhePortal**


	15. Dilemma

**A/N: Thanks for so many reviews! Sorry for the long wait, I was caught up with other things.**

**Rated T for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans**

**Chapter 15. Dilemma**

Raven woke up screaming, her face drenched in sweat, and her chest heaving up and down as she tried to regain her normal rate of breathing. She held her head in her hands and quickly wiped away her tears. She was becoming sick of these death dreams. She had to admit she was terrified; she couldn't sleep after this dream.

She took the covers off her and grabbed her purple robe. Quietly she stepped out of her room barefoot without a word. The hallways were eerily dark and silent. Suddenly she saw a shadow across on the wall. She blinked and the next moment it was gone.

"What?" she looked around for a moment but spotted no one. "Who's there?" she called out.

Silence.

She looked confused as she took steps forward. Suddenly she felt something fly past her almost like a razor causing her to stop with wide eyes. She heard running footsteps and then they faded away. Raven gripped the clothing over her heart as her breathing accelerated. Her head turned slowly to the right to see a bright red X with one of the tips stuck deep into the wall.

She held in a scream and watched as the red X dissolved until; there was no trace of it. A thought entered into her mind, she could have been murdered. This caused her to take a couple steps back looking right and left cautiously. Her back collided into something making her scream out loud but then she felt a hand clamp over mouth. She struggled against who ever it was that gripped her.

"Raven! Calm down!" she heard a familiar voice whisper into her ear. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion then felt the hand leave her mouth. She turned around and saw who it was.

"Beastboy?" she asked with confusion.

"Raven, why can't be walking around late at night!" he said causing her to scowl.

"You shouldn't be talking."

Beastboy only sighed and offered her his hand. She looked it hesitant whether to hold his hand or not. But before she could chose he had already grabbed her hand and was pulling her to the direction of her room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Taking you back to your room," he responded without looking back at her.

"I can do it myself," she ripped her hand away from his grip.

He looked at her then shook his head. "Fine, I guess you were serious about not being friends anymore."

"Beastboy, please, don't start this again, I told you why we can't. Just accept it!"

"It's stupid Raven! It's not a good enough reason to not be friends!"

"Yes it is, I can't look at you without feeling uncomfortable and ashamed."

"You think I don't feel that too!" he questioned angrily.

Raven stepped back, this was one of the few times he saw an angry Beastboy. "You need to understand that, or I'll be forced to leave."

"What!" Beastboy screamed. "Have you lost your mind!" he shouted.

Raven was about to respond when suddenly a door down the hall swished open. "Beastboy? Raven? Are you guys there?" it was Robin.

"Get in!" Raven pushed Beastboy into her room and heard her door close behind them.

"Raven?" they heard Robin's voice again.

Raven looked at Beastboy with fierce eyes. "You enjoy getting me into trouble, don't you?"

"I'm not the one who wanted to leave," he countered back.

"And I'm not the one who screamed!"

They stayed quiet for a couple of minutes until they were sure that Robin had left. A sudden grin crossed Beastboy's lips. "Just like old times…"

Raven let out a sigh. "Beastboy, go back to your room…" He looked at her quiet for a moment. "I guess, some things are left unsaid…" 

Before Raven could question what he meant he turned away and left her room.

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**Next Morning-  
**

Everyone sat at the table eating breakfast. They had agreed on just milk and cereal not feeling in the mood for a feast. Starfire however argued this; Raven was going to finally meet them for the first time in months.

"Star, it's too early for a cake," Robin commented as he took a sip from his coffee.

"But, we need to celebrate her return!" she said.

Beastboy was seated at the couch facing away from the team. He knew Raven would appear any minute now. Last night he had seen her, that look she had as if she had seen a ghost. But after he left her room he went to investigate the wall there was nothing there except for a small whole. As if something sharp had been pushed into it. He didn't pay mind to it and continued on his way.

He could hear Robin trying to tell Starfire not to make cake this early. But since she was his girlfriend he gave up and let her make it.

Cyborg got up to grab some waffles and Terra was unusually quiet while she stared at her bowl of cereal. Her blue eyes had this far away look but the Titans didn't seem to notice.

The doors suddenly swished open and every Titan except for Beastboy and Terra jumped up with smiled on their features.

"Oh, friend Raven!" Starfire exclaimed and ran forward to give her a giant hug.

Raven wasn't one who enjoyed hugs but over the months Starfire and her had become closer friends so she returned the hug but not so it was noticeable.

"It's good to have you back," Robin nodded at her.

"It's my lil sis Rae Rae!" Cyborg exclaimed causing her to twitch.

"Never call me that again!" she shouted annoyed at the nickname he had given her.

"Aww! Same old Raven is back again!" he enveloped her in a big bear hug almost putting Starfire's to shame. Through it all Raven let a small smile slip onto her features.

After Cyborg had put her on the ground again she turned to see Beastboy in the same place he was when she had entered. She stayed quiet but was thankful. Terra as well stayed in the same place she was, Raven was even surprised that she didn't receive an angry glare from her.

At that moment Beastboy stood up from the couch he was sitting at and turned to face the Titans. He looked up into her violet eyes and could see so many emotions running though them. Slowly he walked up to her.

"Raven…" he said looking intently at her.

"Beastboy…" she responded back in a business like manner.

Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg looked at then with some confusion. Obviously there was something going on that they didn't know about.

There was an uncomfortable silence as they stood there.

…

……

………

"Sooooooooooooo!" Cyborg said breaking the silence. The Titans looked up at him. "How about… we go out for a picnic? You know, to relax and stuff…"

Robin shrugged while Starfire smiled and nodded. Terra finally looked up for the first time the whole morning.

Her face looked pale and she looked almost dead, it frightened them a little. "Terra? Are you all right?" Beastboy questioned with concern. She remained quiet but managed to look up at him and caught Raven's eye. Words didn't need to be said just by that simple look Raven could read her message. Don't Mess With Me.

"Terra?" he asked again and saw her slowly stand up.

"I'll take a rain check… I just want to rest…" She gave them a small smile then turned and walked to her room.

"… What just happened?" Cyborg questioned. Everyone stayed quiet.

"I'll go check on her," Beastboy said then ran after her disappearing behind the doors. Raven felt something inside her clench tightly when she saw how concerned he looked for Terra. She held in her breath and shook her head. She ended whatever there was between them, if there was even anything at all.

"So… anyone still up for the picnic?" Cyborg asked with some hope.

"I'll take a rain check too," Robin said then left to his room.

Cyborg let out a sigh. "Star?…" 

"Umm… I would like one of these 'rain checks' Robin speaks of."

His shoulders dropped then turned to Raven who was about to speak but he held up his hand. "No, no, no need to say anything. I bet you want a rain check too, huh?"

Raven nodded silently seeing the disappointment on his features.

"It's not even raining!" he exclaimed, obviously trying to make a joke but no one laughed.

"Cy—"

"Can you guys give me a break? All I'm trying to do is get us all happy again and stop mopping around! But you want rain checks! This is **bull!** Can you blame a guy for trying!" he exclaimed shocking Starfire and Raven who both felt so small.

"But friend, Terra, she is sick and we cannot—"

"Whatever…" Cyborg muttered incoherent words and stomped out of Tower.

Starfire frowned and dropped onto her seat. Raven was about to leave to her own room when Starfire stopped her. "Please… I do not wish to be alone…"

"But, Robin?"

"He has chosen to be alone, I have to respect his decision."

Raven nodded and took a seat next to Starfire but not uttering a single word.

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"Do you still love him?"

Raven was shocked by this questioned but kept it well hidden. Her expression was emotionless and acted as if she didn't hear her question.

"Do you still love him?" Starfire repeated her question a little louder.

"…Why are you asking me this?"

"I just want an answer…"

"Starfire… some things are best left unsaid."

"But surely you can't have given up on him?"

"Give up on him? There was nothing for me to give up on. We never became anything. Now our friendship doesn't even exist."

"You are not friends!"

"We had a minor detour; we can't be friends anymore."

"If you do not mind me asking, why? What has happened?" Starfire looked into her violet eyes sensing regret and fear.

Raven sighed and bit her lip. "I can't tell you, at least not know. This is between me and Beastboy."

Starfire sighed. "Raven people may think I am too naïve, but I know when there is something going on. You can trust me, remember?"

"Starfire, I completely trust you but I just can't tell you, it's personal."

"… Then I will not press the matter anymore…" Starfire got up from where she sat, her head was low and she sadly walked away.

She knew she was going to regret this. "Wait."

Starfire stopped in her tracks. "Yes?"

"Promise me you won't tell anyone…"

Starfire nodded. "I promise," she sat back down and waited.

Raven sighed then looked up. "It all started when Beastboy would secretly meet me in my room…"

**_Flashback-_**

"_I'm sorry I hurt you…I was stupid! I don't want to lose your friendship…please forgive me," he said while still embracing her. Raven let her eyes look down for a moment then she looked up at him and saw that he was waiting for her reply._

"_Beastboy…I…"_

"_Please Raven…" he repeated. There was a brief silent before she spoke again._

"…_I… forgive you…" she whispered and closed her eyes. Raven then felt fingers slowly wipe away her tears. She had to admit she loved it when he did that, it felt as if he could wipe away her pain._

"_You know I love you, right?" he asked as his eyes searched hers. This made Raven's eyes go wide, did she hear right?_

"_You love me?" she asked disbelievingly. No, he has to be lying! I mean, he can't, no…_

"_Of course, you're my best friend," he replied. That's when it hit her…he loved her as a best friend it was just strong friendship not romantic feelings. She was so stupid to believe he loved her for real! She hated herself at this moment she couldn't help but let more tears fall. She was beautifully broken…_

_**End Flashback.**_

"That is so sweet of him!" Starfire said with a smile.

"Yes, but he only loves me as a friend?"

"…"

"Anyway, the next day happened like this. Beastboy came to tell me of his day, he was always smiling, speaking about smiles…"

**_Flashback-_**

"_You should smile more…" he suddenly said causing her smile to vanish and to turn away. "I just screwed up didn't I?"_

"_No…"_

"_Come on Rae, I like it when you smile," he said looking at her face._

"_Beastboy…"_

"_Smile…" he said in a singsong tone. God, did he still have to be so immature. But then again his humor and happiness is one the things that made her love him._

"_No…"_

"_Come on, you can do it. Just turn that frown upside down," he said with a grin._

"_Do you have to joke now?"_

"_To cheesy, huh?"_

"…_Yes…"_

"_That's cold…"_

"_What do you expect from me?"_

"_A smile…"_

"_Beastboy…"_

"_It won't hurt I promise!"_

"_You're so stubborn!" she exclaimed and glared at him._

"_Then I'll do it for you," he grinned then placed his fingers next to the end of her lips and tried to 'turn that frown upside down'. Raven felt herself burn inside, she wanted to smile but it was already embarrassing enough._

**_End Flashback_**

Starfire let out a small giggle. "He attempted to make you smile?"

Raven let a small smile slip. "He did, but of course I ruined everything again, I told him to go. But right before he left Robin picked the perfect time to check up on me."

Starfire was curious. "Did he see him?"

"He hid in the bathroom," Raven bit her lip. "But then something happened…"

**_Flashback-_**

"_Raven?" Beastboy questioned looking nervous. "Are you okay!" he was now frantic. "What's happening!"_

_Raven could feel her tears flow down her cheeks. She was gasping for air, this was new to her; she had never felt immense pain before. Her whole body was collapsing under the pressure. Beastboy didn't know what to do he began to carry her but she stopped._

"_No! This—will—pass," she said through pain._

"_I have to take you to the hospital I can't leave you like this!" he exclaimed. Fear was evident in his eyes._

"_No! Please, promise me you won't tell anyone about this!" she shouted. Her face showed anguish as he held her close._

"_But—"_

"_Promise me!" she cried in agony, her tears staining his uniform._

**_End Flashback_**

"I think I had a… a heart attack…"

"What! You should have gone to the hospital! You should have told Robin and Beastboy he should have told us! Raven we must take you know before your conditions worsens!" Starfire exclaimed with fear.

"No Starfire, there is no need for me to go to the hospital anymore."

"But—"

"I'm fine, really… I was already saved…."

"Saved? I do not understand."

Raven sighed then she began to explain. "What I'm about to tell you, you have to never tell anyone," she looked up at Starfire who nodded. "It was another night and Beastboy came by like always only this time things were different and everything from then on changed between us…"

**_Flashback-_**

"_Beastboy, I need you to forget me, this is my decision. I can't go on like this," she whispered._

"_What do you mean you can't go on like this?" he questioned and that was the moment that she turned around so quickly it made him step back and almost fall._

"_This!" she shouted at him pointing to her tears that she despised. He looked at her with shock he had never seen her cry with such anger. "You did this to me!" she screamed at him taking a step forward to him and all he could do was stand still in shock. "You brought me so much pain! You made me suffer! You caused me my tears!" she cried._

_He was speechless. All he could do was stare at her. Raven, the girl who was supposed to be strong was breaking down harder than ever before. That's when her words hit him. He caused her tears?_

"_I caused your tears?" he said before he could stop himself. Raven came closer to him pure fury on her beautiful features._

"_Yes! It was you! Only you!" she shouted. She felt herself going crazy. But she felt she had to say it before she went officially crazy… before she died. She needed to pour out her true feelings to him whether he wanted to hear it or not. Whether he accepted it or not._

_**End Flashback**_

Starfire was quiet for a moment. "You mean your love for him?"

"Yes," Raven looked down at her folded hands on the table. "What happened next wasn't planned it was just an impulse of action…"

**_Flashback-_**

"_Did you forget all those times I showed you care? Did you forget all those times I wiped your tears away!" he shouted at her. His hands were now gripping her shoulders almost shaking her. How could she say he made her suffer!_

"_No! And that's exactly what made me suffer!" she spat back. She couldn't believe they were arguing but this was meant to happen…somehow…_

_A cold silence drifted between them, only their heavy breathing was heard. Their body's only inches apart, their lips only inches apart. Her eyes bore into his and his stared deep into her own._

_Suddenly without warning their lips collided against each other. A shock spread throughout both their bodies at this touch. Before she knew it their lips were moving together in a passionate kiss almost desperate for one another. Raven's arms had wrapped around his neck and his around her back bringing her close to his body._

_She couldn't believe what was happening. Beastboy and her were kissing. And it wasn't some innocent kiss. It was a passionate one. Almost as if all they were holding inside had escaped in that kiss. But that's when she realized he didn't love her. He was probably only feeling passion and lust not love. This caused her eyes to let tears fall._

_**End Flashback-**_

"You kissed!" Starfire exclaimed a smile forming on her lips. "Oh that is wonderful!"

Raven sighed. "Yes we kissed… but…"

_**Flashback-**_

_Raven then pushed him away and slapped him very hard. He looked at her with shock. Did she just slap him? God that hurt!_

"_Don't kiss me if you don't mean it!" she shouted. "Don't use me, I don't want to feel that again…" she trailed off. She wasn't going to let her dignity go. She knew he loved Terra and that kiss was only in the heat of the moment. He only looked at her as a best friend not someone he could truly love._

"_No, Raven it wasn't like that. I'm not going to use you," he tried to say hoping she would accept it. Because it was true…_

"_Don't lie to me!" she shouted. "Don't you understand!" her voice cracking as she spoke due to her trying to keep in her cries. She paused and looked deep into his eyes almost as if daring him to speak. But he didn't._

_Raven sat on her bed and turned away from him, not wanting to see him anymore. She closed her eyes and whispered. "I love you…" before she could stop herself, they had already come out. Now what was going to happen? He probably hated her right now._

**_End Flashback-_**

"… You told him you love him?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"… He said… he said he loved me too…" at this point Raven couldn't hide the fact that her eyes were beginning to form tears.

"That is good, please, why are you sad. Love is supposed to be a joyous thing not a feeling that causes tears," Starfire looked at her with concern.

Raven let out a breath she had been holding in. "What happened next changed everything…"

**_Flashback-_**

_He caught her lips in a kiss making her heart jump. Deep inside she felt her heart was healing… was this kiss the kiss that saved her? Was it because they both meant what they said? It was because they both loved each other. True love. Not friendship anymore…_

_She felt him kiss her lips and she kissed back with love. Her arms encircled his neck and soon she felt her body being lowered onto the bed; her long violet hair pooled around her making her look more beautiful. He kissed her cheek trailing gentle kisses down her neck making her sigh. His lips found hers once more and they continued to show their affection. Her fingers laced in his hair as she kissed him, their lips moving together not so innocent anymore._

_Soon their kisses turned passionate and they both knew what was going to happen. This thought sent shivers down Raven's spine. She loved him enough to let this continue. He loved her and it was all that mattered. Slowly her pain was going away making her feel bliss and free. Her emotions had finally got out. No longer were they under her skin. She knew his touch was what could save her._

_Raven opened her violet eyes and stared into his emerald green eyes. She lovingly cupped his face with her hands and spoke softly. "Save me…" And he did._

**_End Flashback_**

Starfire stared at her with wide eyes. "You… and Beastboy… you both…"

Raven blushed so deeply she could feel the heat in her cheeks. "It was a mistake Starfire. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did."

"Raven, clearly there is something going on, I mean you can't have just done what you have done without both of you feeling something."

"Oh, I felt something."

"Huh?"

Raven blushed. "Forget it, I just can't be friends with him anymore. He's still with Terra, he cheated on her with me, and it was all my fault!"

"I agree that what you both did is terrible. But you cannot just ignore it! What if—what if—"

"What if what?"

"What if you are bearing a child…"

At those words Raven's mouth dropped open. "No! Starfire don't jinx it!"

"Jinx? She is here!"

"No, just, I can't be pregnant," She said in a whisper incase anyone would walk in.

"Raven you never know, I think you should check."

"I'm fine. I haven't experienced any symptoms a pregnant women would have."

Raven sat still while Starfire was silent. "Please? Just check."

"No, I am not. And what can I do? Walk into some store and go 'Um, I need to buy a pregnancy test because obviously I slept with someone' I can't jut go in there and buy one! I'm a Titan! And if I just waltz in there the media would have a field day!"

"Then I will get it for you," Starfire offered.

"What? No I can't let you do that. They would write rumors about you and Robin."

"But Robin and I are together, so it is not as bad. You do not have a companion; all the males in our team are involved with someone. It is best if I go."

"Starfire I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm the one who slept with Beastboy!" Raven screamed then her eyes widen.

"The hell!" someone shouted causing both girls to quickly look towards the door. "What kind of crap friendship do you have with Beastboy! FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!"

"Robin, please do not make a scene!" Starfire pleaded as she watched Robin fume with anger.

"Make a scene! I'm sorry Starfire but finding out something like this isn't an added sunshine to my day!" he turned towards Raven. "Raven start explaining, now."

"This wasn't meant for everyone to know!" Raven exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for barging in to your private conversation!" Robin said harshly.

"Robin!" Starfire shouted.

"Starfire you can't be defending her! Do you have any idea what she did? How bad this is?"

"We can all talk in a quiet place, and give explanations."

"Oh, I will get an explanation," he turned towards Raven. "I thought you were smarter than that Raven."

Before she could speak someone came running into the living room.

"Raven! Terra needs your help!" Beastboy shouted frantically.

Robin cast a look at Raven who stood quiet. "What's wrong with her?"

"She has a high fever and she's been vomiting to much."

"Where is she?"

"In her room," Raven nodded and followed Beastboy. Robin and Starfire followed suit.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Terra was asleep in her bed and her face still with that pale color. Slowly Raven stepped forward and hesitantly put her hand on her forehead.

She felt an intense heat radiated off her skin. "This is bad, she needs to go to a hospital," Raven informed them. Beastboy's concern grew.

"But Cyborg has taken the T-car! We have no mode of transportation!" Starfire exclaimed.

"I can teleport us," Raven said as she lowered her hood exposing her face.

"Can you? All four of us?" Robin questioned. "It would take to much of your energy, I don't know."

Raven sighed then nodded. "I'll risk it, we can't leave Terra here, she needs professional help."

"But what if you can't?" Beastboy questioned. He knew Raven would use up a lot of energy to take all four of them. She herself could pass out before getting Terra there.

Robin thought for a moment. "You take Terra to the Hospital Raven, Beastboy can fly there, while Starfire and I go on my R- cycle."

"All right then," Raven took hold of Terra's hands and concentrated on the place she needed to go to. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Within seconds she and Terra disappeared.

"Come on!" Beastboy shouted and he Robin and Starfire ran out of the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cyborg was now reaching into his fast food bag to pull out a cheeseburger. He licked his lips and almost drooled for the sandwich.

"Aww yeah! Triple cheeseburger meet stomach! Stomach meet heaven!" he munched down.

"Sparky! Leave some for me!" Bumblebee exclaimed and grabbed the sandwich from his hands.

"Hey hey! I already bought you a taco!" he saw the empty wrapper. "You ate it already?"

"You're not the only one with a big appetite," she smirked at him.

He smiled and put an arm around her. "You know what Bumblebee? I can see the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

Suddenly he saw the R-cycle rush pass them and Beastboy the form of an eagle flying above them with great speed.

"Sparky? Isn't that your friends?" she asked.

"Something's up and they didn't bother telling me!" he let out a disappointed sigh. "We're following them, put your seatbelt on Bee."

"Wait- what about- AHH!" the T-car suddenly started at great speed causing her to scream. "Slow down!"

"Sorry, I need to find out what's wrong—" his communicator suddenly began to beep and he brought up his arm to see who it was. "ROBIN, NEXT TIME TELL ME WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE!"

Robin sighed obviously not wanting to start a fight. "Cyborg, get to the hospital as fast as you can! Terra's sick!"

"Now you tell me!" he exclaimed.

"We'll meet you there," Robin closed the communicator.

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**And I stop here, sorry guys. Now let's recap about what happened, shall we? Obviously Red X tried to hurt Raven. Raven told Starfire what happened between her and Beastboy, and Robin overheard. Something's wrong with Terra and Cyborg was on a date with Bumblebee. It's getting juicy again! I can see the end is near!**

**The story is about to end. Probably 3 more chapters? Not sure. Anyway I think I will write a sequel. That is if people _still_ want it. Anyway, I'll try to put up the next chapter in a week or so.**

**Also I want too ask you guys. Which Harry Potter pairings do you like? I like Ron/Herm. Ginny/Harry. I don't ship Draco/Herm but I enjoy reading it. I've been writing stories about Harry Potter so that was another reason I was gone.**

**Much Love. Peace. Review!**

**RaventhePortal**


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